Sam Vaknin is an economic and political columnist and a published and awarded author of short fiction and reference books in Hebrew, English and Macedonian in Israel, Macedonia and the Czech Republic, and holds a combined doctorate in Physics and Philosophy. He describes his poetry writing as follows:
My world is painted in shadows of fear and sadness. Perhaps they are related - I fear the sadness. To avoid the overweening, sepia melancholy that lurks in the dark corners of my being - I deny my own emotions. I do so thoroughly, with the single-mindedness of a survivor. I persevere through dehumanization. I automate my processes. Gradually, parts of my flesh turn into metal and I stand there, exposed to sheering winds, as grandiose as my disorder.
I write poetry not because I need to. I write poetry to gain attention, to secure adulation, to fasten on to the reflection in the eyes of others that passes for my ego. My words are fireworks, formulas of resonance, the periodic table of healing and abuse.
These are dark poems. A wasted landscape of pain ossified, of scarred remnants of emotions. There is no horror in abuse. The terror is in the endurance, in the dreamlike detachment from one's own existence that follows. People around me feel my surrealism. They back away, alienated, discomfitted by the limpid placenta of my virtual reality. Now I am left alone and I write umbilical poems as others would converse.
Before and after prison, I have written reference books and essays. My first book of short fiction was critically acclaimed and commercially successful. I tried my hand at poetry before, in Hebrew, but failed. Tis strange. They say that poetry is the daughter of emotion. Not in my case. I never felt except in prison - and yet there, I wrote in prose. The poetry I authored as one does math. It was the syllabic music that attracted me, the power to compose with words. I wasn't looking to express any profound truth or to convey a thing about myself. I wanted to recreate the magic of the broken metric. I still recite aloud a poem until it SOUNDS right. I write upright - the legacy of prison. I stand and type on a laptop perched atop a cardboard box. It is ascetic and, to me, so is poetry. A purity. An abstraction. A string of symbols open to exegesis. It is the most sublime intellectual pursuit in a world that narrowed down and has become only my intellect.
His book "After the Rain - How the West Lost the East" is available from Barnes and Noble and, as an e-book, from Booklocker, eBooksonthe.net, MightyWords, SoftLock and from CyberRead.
A Hundred Children
Tell me about your sunshine
and the sounds of coffee
and of barefeet pounding the earthen floor
the creaking trees
and the skinned memory of hugs
you gave
and you received.
Sit down, yes, here,
the intermittent sobbing
of the shades
slit by your golden face.
Now listen to the hundred children
that are your womb.
I am among them.
Snowflake Haiku
Where I begin
your end
snowflake haikus
melt into
crystalline awareness.
I guard
your quivered sleep.
Your skin beats moisture.
The beckoning jugular
that is your mind.
My pointing teeth.
A universe
of frozen sharp relief,
the icy darts your voice
in my inebriated veins
in yours.
When you wake the morning
When you wake the morning
red headed children shimmer in your eyes.
The veinous map
of sun drenched eyelids
flutters
throbbing topography.
Your muscles ripple.
Scared animals burrow
under your dewey skin.
Frozen light sculptures
where wrinkles dwell.
Embroidered shades,
in thick-maned tapestry.
Your lips depart in scarlet,
flesh to withering flesh,
and breath in curved tranquility
escapes the flaring nostrils.
Your warmth invades my sweat,
your lips leave skin regards
on my humidity.
Eyelashes clash.
Prague at dusk
Prague lays over its inhabitants in shades of grey. Oppressively close to
the surface, some of us duck, others simply walk carefully, our shoulders
stooped, trying to avoid the monochrome rainbow at the end of the hesitant
rain. Prague rains itself on us, impaled on one hundreds towers, on a
thousand immolated golden domes. We pretend not to see it bleeding to the
river. We just cross each other in ornate street corners, from behind
exquisite palaces. We don't shake heads politely anymore. We are not sure
whether they will stay connected if we do.
It is in such times that I remember an especially sad song, Arabic sounds
interlaced with Jewish wailing. Wall after wall, turret after turret, I
re-visit my homeland. It is there, in that city, which is not Arab, nor
Jewish, not entirely modern, nor decidedly antique that I met her.
And the pain was strong.
A Peace Accord
I wrote, Sally Ann, I wrote:
Shot from the cannon of abuse
as unwise missiles do.
Course set.
Explosive clouds that mark
your video destination.
Experts interpret,
pricking with laser markers,
inflated dialects
of doom.
Hitting the target, you
splinter, a spectacle
of fire and of smoke.
The molten ashes,
the cold metallic remnants,
the core...
A peace accord
between you and your self.
Prowling
The little things we do together
to give up life.
The percolating coffee,
your aromatic breath,
the dream that glues
your eyelids to my cheek.
We both relent relentlessly.
Your hair flows to its end,
a natural cascade,
a velvet avalanche
buries my hands.
In motion paralyzed,
we prowl each other's
hunting grounds.
Day breaks, our backs
turned to the light
in dark refusal.
Tableaux (on Van Gogh)
Listening to a scarlet sink, detached
an ear, still glistening wax,
in bloody conch.
The gaping flesh.
Wild scattered eyes
fiercing the mirror.
Light ricochets from trembling blade
(it's gaslight evening and the breeze ...)
Behind his stooping shoulders,
a painted room ablaze
the dripping composition of his blood.
The winding crowd
inflates the curtains inwards,
sails of a flying Dutchman.
(Copyright 2000 - All Rights Reserved by Sam Vaknin - No reproduction without express permission from the author)
More about Sam is available at: Vaknin
A compilation of essays and columns is available at CE-Review: Vaknin Archive
Table of Contents
Letter to the Author:
Sam Vaknin at palma@unet.com.mk