Seeker Magazine

AVANT SOUL

Rhapsodies in Words

to reawaken our fascination with the ever-original SOUL

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Patrice Calls GOD
On Her Cell Phone

It's me, Patrice. God! I'm so glad you're there! It's wonderful to have roll-over minutes
and not to have to pay for any roaming charges...

God replied, “Indeed .... It's all for you.”

I'm in conflict, Lord, yes, conflict, oh, yes, yes, yes!

God replied, “You've been worshipping Me at Starbucks again.”

I'm upset, God, oh yes, Sweet Jesus, angry ... so very upset ... I'm bothered,
wounded, and ticked-off by dysfunctional people. Extreme bummer ticked-off, Lord!

“Patrice. Slow down. They are a mirror for your own dysfunction.”

Never mind that, Lord. These people are, like, major dysfunction. Way, far-out,
completely dysfunctional, God. Oh yes!

"Patrice."

Yes, Lord?

"You're breaking up, Patrice."

Let me pull off into another mall, Lord .... How's that?

"Better. I have something to impart to you, Patrice. "

I'm ready, God, oh ... so ready. Yes, I'm ready to receive you, Lord, yes ... YES!

"Listen closely, Patrice. I'm here for you. I'm not here to clean up your dysfunction."

HOW can that be, God? You're the Creator! You've got to handle my clean-up. Hello?

"That's not my job, Patrice. By the way - I'm not hard of hearing."

HOW can that be, Lord, how, how, how? I'm counting on you, why, I pray & ask for
Your help every single day. Help me, help me, God ... please help me ... oh, Lordy,
Lordy, Lordy. Have mercy, hear my plea, listen to ME, your child, your Patrice!

"Patrice. Hyperventilating does not get you into the Kingdom."

Wretched, wretched ... wretched, oh truly wretched, my God.

"Cut the drama, Patrice. I'll spell it out for you."

God, hang on, just a minute! Got to get another white chocolate latté, to brace myself!

"No, you've had sufficient lattés, Patrice. Now listen up ...

"You are not responsible for dysfunction within other people ...
"You aren't responsible for dysfunction by those who neglect you ...
"You aren't responsible for the dysfunction of those who are poorly informed ...
"You aren't responsible for the dysfunction of those who cling to their prejudice ...
"You aren't responsible for the dysfunction by those whose identity is toxic ...

"Lastly, you are not responsible for chronic dysfunction by world leaders .... You can
usually avoid tasteless individuals, sitting momentarily on corrupt committees during
graceless periods of human history ..."

Golly gosh, said Patrice. What, what then, Lord, can I complain about? Ignore chaos?

"Focus on what's in front of you, Patrice."

Lord - now really, get a grip. I can't believe you're telling me this. You're GOD ...
King of Da Universe ... and I need to believe that most of our human actions are
tremendously important while we're here. Major importanto!

"Nope."

You're asking me to give up blame? –And pent-up frustration? –To cease being addicted
to intense irritation over the dysfunction of others? How could I do this? –How? –How?
Sweet Lord, you're asking me to surrender frustration and blame? That's a tall order ...
God! Jesus!

"Correct," God concurred. "You're not responsible for others' dysfunction."

Then who am I responsible for? asked Patrice.

"You're responsible for yourself .... Your destiny ... In truth, your divine responsibility."

God, what a burden! shrieked Patrice. Now you're truly, REALLY being unreasonable!

There was a long pause. Eventually God replied quietly, "That's the way I set up Creation."

I hate that guy! shouted Patrice. I hate you! And I'm getting a better calling plan,
you sadistic little control freak!


(Copyright 2004 by Darius Gottlieb. No reproduction without express permission from the author)
From IT, an upcoming book to be published in 2005
        by Laughing Rhinoceros Press

You're invited to visit Darius' website for more of his photographs and his music at Art Bliss


Letter to the Author at SoulGnosis@aol.com
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