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The Man Who Sold His Beard

(Adapted from a Swedish Tale of Gypsy Folklore)

by: Novareinna

There were once two merchants who were very good friends. One was quite intelligent and one was rather stupid; the intelligent one was clean-shaven, just like a young boy, and the other had a long, thick and handsome beard.

One day, as they sat together discussing this and that and everything in between, the one who had no beard said, "Little brother, would you like to sell me your beard?" The one with the beard answered, "I don't see why not, if you'll pay me a good price."

"I'll give you whatever you ask for that fine beard of yours."

"Then I'll allow you to name the price, my good friend, for I know you'll be fair," said the one with the beard.

"I'll give you a good sum," replied the merchant with no beard, "but on one condition. I want the beard to keep growing on your face, but I will take care of it...how it is to grow, how it is to be combed, what perfume is to be put on it, and how it should be cut. You won't have the right to say anything about it. That beard will be all mine. If anyone remarks that it is a beautiful beard, you will have to answer quickly that the beard does not belong to you, but to me."

The merchant with the beard had no objections. "Whatever you want, my friend," he said. "You can keep looking after my beard...I mean your beard. It will be cheaper for me!"

So, the drew up a contract and the merchant who was clean-shaven paid the other a princely sum for the beard.

From that day forward, the clean-shaven man was very particular about taking care of the beard he had bought on his friend's face, and he stopped at nothing to show it. Whenever he felt like it or thought of it, which was many times during the day, he came to tend to the beard his merchant friend had on his chin. It made no difference to him whether his friend was entertaining company or whether he was asleep.

Often, he wasn't too gentle with the beard either. He'd pull it and tug it and sometimes cut it to a point, or sometimes in squares, or sometimes in a zig-zag. One day he'd smear sweet-scented oil over it, and the next he'd plaster it with heaven knows what!

If the poor sufferer complained, it was like talking to the wind or a brick wall. All his crying and wailing fell on deaf ears.

"Listen friend," he would plead, "are you out of your mind? You're acting like a madman. Please leave my beard in peace!" "There's a fine thing," grumbled the one who had bought the beard. "Maybe you would like to break the contract? But let me remind you, you'll be in trouble if you do. The law is on my side, so just keep calm. That beard belongs to me and I have the right to do with it exactly as I wish."

With that, he would go at the beard hammer and nails...tugging and pulling until the poor merchant screamed for mercy.

So, time went by while the one who had purchased the beard kept tearing and teasing the beard of the one who had it on his chin. In the end, the poor sufferer couldn't stand it one moment longer.

"Little brother," he entreated. "My very good friend...I want to buy back my beard. For the love of God, please let me have my beard again. You are making my life worse than if I lived with the Devil."

"Don't talk so foolishly," replied the clean-shaven merchant. "I am very happy with my beard on your face. It is a nice beard...thick and glossy. Look how strong the roots of the hair are," he said and he began to pull it. "I want to keep it. Maybe later on, we can work out a deal."

And so, he continued to take of the beard in his own way and as he felt like doing so. In the end, it really was more than the bearded merchant could stand.

"I want to buy back my beard," he cried. "Please, little brother, you are driving me crazy. Give me back my beard and I'll gladly pay you any price."

"How much will you offer?"

"I will give you twice as much as you gave me."

"Twice as much?" queried the clean-shaven merchant. "Twice as much for this fine, thick, glossy beard? Just feel it," and he took hold of it. "You will have to go higher, brother."

"Ouch...eek...let go! Name any price. I'll give you anything you ask."

"Now you're talking! Give me four times as much as I gave you and you'll pay just right for your beard...and your foolishness!"

So, the bearded merchant paid the other. Then, he quickly went to the barber and had his beard shaved off.




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Novareinna <Novareinna@aol.com>
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