A couple of years ago, I had an experience which threw me for a loop. I had been writing songs for a Nashville publishing company, getting weekly checks and living a pretty easy life. A couple of recent songs were slated for release as singles, and things looked rosy. Then the boom fell - the company was going under, the singles never came out, and I was staring into the face of unemployment. I'd spent ten years working hard on my dream, and the rug was suddenly sliding out from under me.
Efforts to sign on elsewhere didn't pan out. The wolf was at the door, and I had nothing to feed it. My neatly planned career was a shambles, and I was devastated. Despite having the incredible love of my wife, family and friends, I felt a total failure. There I was - a model of the "type A" personality - suddenly having nothing to obsess about, other than my resentment, anger and sense of loss.
I made a big mistake in viewing these events as negative ones. Oh, sure, I told myself it might all be for the best, but I didn't really believe it. Without something equally good to replace my old life with, it was hard to maintain a positive attitude. However, I know in hindsight that I should have stayed upbeat and optimistic. I could have saved myself from so much pain.
Today, my life looks pretty rosy again. I'm still writing songs, but I am doing many other things as well. My interests and activities have expanded, and my income has far surpassed what I earned as songwriter. Spiritually, I feel more complete than ever.
It's such a cliche to say something like "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade," but there is a nugget of truth there. We define the meaning of our own experiences. If we want to stamp them as negative, we'll surely get negative ones. There is another way to approach it. It is possible to see potential negative experience as positive. It requires a shift in thinking; a shift in belief.
In my own case, I could have said "I don't know why everything has turned out like it has, but I'm going to try to find the positive side." What potentials could open up? How could this be used to learn and to grow? I should have seen my predicament as a chance to break out of a rut and begin new life adventures and purposes. I did finally reach such conclusions but only after assigning negative meanings to these events for too long a time.
Compared to people like Helen Keller and Christopher Reeves, my difficulties seem like a few particles of dust on a superhighway. The Reverend Billy Graham, who has contracted cerebral palsy, was asked in a recent interview if the disease had lessened his faith in God, especially after his lifetime of service. He said no. He looked upon his condition as a blessing, saying how much he has learned from his illness. All these people are remarkable for one thing--finding the positive in their life experiences.
Life is full of blessing and purpose. What we view as hardship may teach the greatest lessons of all. Life is always throwing us curveballs. Nobody lives a life without challenges. Within those tests, we are free to see events in a positive or negative light. Ultimately, we impose the definitions on our experience. Our own beliefs create our happiness and our misery. We write the scripts we live by, and we do have control of the meanings we assign to our lives. We can view what comes our way as opportunity or as the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but that choice is always in our hands.
I wish I hadn't succumbed to my own negativity. Maybe it was simply a lesson I had to learn. In the end, I am glad I had a chance to go through some hard times. Like Billy Graham, I've learned so much. I'll say this: diversity has made me stronger and wiser. I emerged with a greater capacity to appreciate the truly good things in my life - my health, my family, my abilities, and the blessing of life itself.
Knowing the darkness has made me appreciate the light, and that light can be found even in the darkness. This may not be the ultimate secret of life, but I'd wager that it's at least in the top ten.
I'd like to close by wishing everyone a happy and prosperous New Year. Special thanks to Seeker Magazine for giving me a forum to voice my opinions this year.
(Copyright 1998 by Al Carmichael - No reproduction without express permission from the author)
Al Carmichael's Web Page - http://members.aol.com/tapeout/Page1.html