Seeker Magazine
AVANT SOUL
Rhapsodies in Words
to reawaken our fascination with the ever-original SOUL
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Through the Bushes:
A Philosophical Look At Survival Through the Next Four Years
If I Loved You Any More
(Waning Moon In Virgo)
If I loved you any more
The sun & moon would split open . .
The mind stuff of Mother's egg
Would spill plasma
As a thousand screaming harpies
brandishing spatulas
Would splatter succulent pieces
of caramelized Mermaid juice
off the surface of Formica counter tops . .
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, breakfast
As my face cracks open
in utter reverence & rapture
Off-white / gray-blue / translucent shattered shells
Would scrape off the bottom
of my heated, over-emotional pan
Dripping nectar from our love duet,
The cool liquid gooey introductory juices,
thick, heady and aromatic,
Would adhere to our souls
... while we ourselves
... would, of course, try to stay detached ...
We are calm. We are adults. We do not play games.
If I loved you any more
My mother & even your mother would celebrate /
Our families would heal . .
Our siblings would ache to nourish us,
Like cats licking wounds in warm safe places
And we would venture out at last
to display our secluded sores
From thick armored safes /
from complicated locks and alarms
And open them to light & air we would,
Holding scar tissue to the sun,
to drying sea air /
Tropical blustery breezes
would kiss gently to bury healing balms
deeply into our clefts ...
(... Far within, where few ever had been
Maggots & little round worms & corpse-flesh
... of our rotten, rotting fears
Would shrink and fall away
like pieces of extinguished stars
Yes, fall away to the pyre of the sun ...)
My love, it has always been past due
To give ourselves over to this light /
We are adults. We can live without grievances.
We needn't cling to old habits, to useless ways.
If I loved you any more . .
The earth would hurtle itself like a comet
Into the blackened pit of space,
Explode to a thousand arrows of searing light
Out from which pure white feathers would gently fall
to become the innocent wings of baby cherub angels
We are enlightened. Our work is complete.
And if I loved you any more
My ego would implode to shattering volcanic rock ...
... and from there, a single marbled velvet lotus,
Golden to its core, molten in purity,
Containing a violet eye,
Streaked with silver, melting
to a surrender which only comes
when we merge into each another ...
... Would sprout from the center of the Hands of the Living Christ
to be reshaped ... to be renewed ... to be reborn ...
We've left a legacy for our children.
Our work has been purified & released.
Now, at least, we will die without regrets.
If truth be told, beloved,
I cannot stop loving you ...
Please don't stop this charade /
For if each one of my masks fell away,
and like cinders hit gravity,
flaring to a bright, blue-white flame . .
I can never keep myself /
I could never deny myself
My love for you.
For in its brilliant deception
I am reborn.
I am made whole.
I am complete.
If these be the lies,
Then let me answer to all of eternity,
And take this treacherous deceit
To my grave.
(Copyright 2001 by Darius Gottlieb - No reproduction without express permission from the author)
Letter to the Author at CelloMorpheus@aol.com
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