AVANT SOUL

Congratulations, Mr. Walburn!

!Congratulations, Walburn! You're the Instant Winner™ of our Stir Fried Brain Contest!

    I didn't enter a contest.

Your entry was selected online from 9 million entries of our unlimited streaming downloads as The Most Clever to rhyme with Saddam Hussein. That was most clever, Mr. Walburn!

    The name's Tricia. I don't do downloads.

You rhymed, "Cheap Champagne"
              "Sand-blasted Insane"
              "In the Neck, the Arse, a Royal Pain"
              "Cockeyed Campaign" and – our judges' unanimous favorite –
              "Me Dubya – You Ugly Jane"

...with Saddam Hussein to become our latest lucky biweekly Instant Winner™ and receive 1,000 free downloads from MUSICNET (by AOL - Time Warner)!

    I hate AOL.

Way to go, Wally! Could you show a bit more excitement for our nearly 2 million DSL listeners?

    I'm not Wally, either .. and I hate AOL! It's infected with obnoxious pop-up ad viruses.

You're so very witty, Mr. Walburn, a broadcaster's dream!  And as our undisputed biweekly winner, you have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to win an additional $30,000 if you can rhyme four words in the next 15 seconds with the word IRAQ ... Ready? ....
                                         GO!

              "Hack" .... "Attack" .... "Plaque" .... "Big Mac" ....      

Oooooooh,  I'm sooooo sorry, Mr. Walburn, that was five words, not four!
But you came so awfully close. My goodness!

Even though you weren't listening that closely, Wally, and almost won our $30,000 bonus round, you're now automatically qualified to enter our ultra marathon "I'm No Crybaby, Baby" annual drawing
and the chance to win a lifetime supply of WalMart coupons
and three cases of Quik-Dry Whit-Out "for mistakes that don't bear repeating" ...!

    Sis-Boom-Bah. Golly-gosh. Ra-Ra-Ra.

You do have a way with words, Wally Walburn!That's 36 bottles of Quik-Dry Whit-Out!

    The name's Tricia ... and I'll donate them all to the White House.

Plus, Wally, if you're our lucky winner in the next Stir Fried Brain Contest, you'll receive a recipe book of delicious, tasty treats for meat without E. coli, Mad Cow, or genetically altered Double-Dolly Clone™ "I love protein" dishes, sponsored by The American Beef Council!

    I'm a vegetarian. I get my protein lower on the food chain from less-contaminated items.

It has an introduction by Martha Stewart! And it's chockfull of lip-smacking treats for the growing teen carnivore in your family, Mr. Walburn!


    How did you get my cell phone?


    I'm hanging up.