Emotions run the world. Anything that can be bought is sold on emotion: movies, products, food. All reaction is based on emotion: an event takes place - you react; someone speaks about an event - you remember a similar one, or it is tragic and you sympathize and become saddened, or it challenges a personal belief and you anger. All action is based on emotion: you feel sorry so you do this, you feel happy so you do that, you feel lonely so you do the other. Even those who apparently use logic and theory have an emotional quest to serve: results. The satisfaction of completion, ahhh.
For all of history humankind has wondered about the secret of life. Well, look around you, here it is. The only thing (besides being on this planet) that all people have in common is emotion. Even if you can't understand why someone would feel the way they do you must acknowledge: they feel. All action is prompted by some emotion: you feel to do it, you want to do it, you don't want to do it, you don't feel it's right.
Are we all in agreement?
Now, to use the secret of life... that takes some practice. If you were aware in any given moment what you were feeling, you would be able to make a conscious choice about your reaction. This is called responding. For example: your friend is telling you a story about his/her day. You have a bit of anger built up because of your day and you are feeling annoyed because the stressful story your friend is relaying is about misplaced paperclips. This could cause you to release some anger on your friend. If you are aware of your emotions; however, having an unconscious blowup is not very likely. You might instead forgive your friend for being so annoying.
Fear is another good one to be aware of. Is it fear of confrontation or ridicule that stops you from giving your view point? Is it fear of failure that stops you from starting? Being conscious of fear lets you make decisions for positive reasons. Unconsciously fearing the outcome denies you the right to make informed choices. Remember, emotion is the governing force on this planet. Unconscious fear is a very powerful deterrent. It can also be a powerful motivator. You might think that using fear as a motivator would be a good thing, and it can be to a certain point. It can cause results that may be beneficial to the motivated; but, take the fear away and what's left? If your doctor gives you an ultimatum: change your lifestyle or die, do you change out of fear? And in your rebellious moments when you go back to your old habits, who are you rebelling against? The doctor? No, you're rebelling against fear, the force that demanded you to be unlike you wanted to be.
No one has ever sufficiently explained why we have emotions, so lets just move on to: what can we do with them? All emotions can teach us something. Let your emotions teach you about yourself! In the moment of anger, if you notice you are angry, you can choose your response. Also you can sometimes understand specifically what about the situation has made you angry; this can help you to work out solutions, or even just to let it go for the time being. What has this shown you about yourself? Did you just witness yourself getting angry because the bus was late? Because your pet messed your carpet? Because your teenager didn't listen? Now that you've noticed, what are you going to do about it? Anything? By the way, not doing anything because of preference (you need time to think or 'now is not the time, I'll deal with it after work' or you can't see any response you'd like to make) is not necessarily fear of the outcome.
So, if you start becoming aware of your emotions, more and more of your life will be understandable. More and more of your reactions will be responses and won't have to be regretted later.
One last thing. Remember, all of your emotions are valid. How could you have an invalid emotion if it's what you're feeling? Existence is validation, now it's time to accept that your feeling it and decide what to do with it. Sometimes your decision can be as simple as allowing yourself to have that emotion. Be gentle on yourself and remember that some feelings hurt -- hug yourself through those ones!
Stephanie is 27 yrs old, married 5 yrs, and teaches a natural healing art called Reiki. She has 3 cats and many relatives.