"I am here. I have always been here. Throughout your lifetime, there has not been a time when you were without me, for that would be impossible."
When I first heard the calling, several years ago, I had just recently become divorced, and was in the process of re-organizing both my business and my personal life, which at that time, had a mixture of feelings anywhere from victimhood to denial, and somewhere within these feelings, the newfound strength to carry on. By the age of 29, I had become a successful businesswoman, but yet I hadn't found the meaning of one simple word...joy. Then a series of events took place which completely altered my very existence. In short, I found my path.
The calling was for me, something that started with simple prayer. Prayer that my life was one that really mattered. That there be a change in my life, and for that change to greatly benefit the world. I didn't know back then to be careful for what I asked for. And the part about greatly benefiting the world, well, that remains to be seen. However, my life after that point did indeed change.
I was in the supermarket one day and decided to pick up a note book. A dear friend had mentioned to me that writing down my thoughts and feelings might help balance my stir-fried life. I took heed and bought one. The next several months turned into a year, and I kept writing in my journal, and the next journal and the next. Interestingly, events in my life that had previously been in disarray, began almost effortlessly working themselves out, and I began to feel healthier. Then another change took place.
I remember looking into the mirror one cold, rainy day when I lived in Southern California. The wind was blowing and the skies were dark. I had been on a personal retreat, so to speak, and had spent quite a bit of time by myself in quietness and meditation. As I looked in that mirror, for the first time, maybe in my life, I saw myself as something greater than my physical body. I saw my soul. Wow! What an experience!
Immediately, there was an intense need to go to my journal, open it up and write. I quickly went to my bedside and began. What went onto the paper, I suddenly realized, wasn't from me or my conscious thoughts. The words were from another.
"I Am the One who guides your steps. The One who first had the thought 'I Am' and has been expanding on that thought ever since."
The dear friend I had mentioned earlier, also taught me to be careful with this sort of thing, when bringing another energy in though your own body, via your thoughts or your pen, always make sure you are speaking with God-centered energy. So my next statement, obviously was, "Who the heck is this?"
"Listen, and you will hear us. We sing to you through your heart, we whisper in your ear. We tell you all is well and remind you that you are never alone. We are here. Listen and you will hear us."
At first I was excited, wondering if it was even possible. I had, I must admit, a slight tinge of doubt. However, in my heart I knew, very deeply, where these words and the many, many words that followed were coming from. Shortly after that came my first lesson. "Why could I on one day hear and feel that wonderful presence and another day not feel it at all?"
"It is not that we are not here, for we are. We are with you always. It is that when there is a lack of quietness about you, you cannot feel or hear us. It is of the utmost importance that you take the time in the morning and in the evening to speak with the Father to hear what would be a goodness for you this day, and what would be a goodness for you to allow to go from you as you sleep. Do you not feel a sense of confusion, wondering which way would be best for you to go? It is as if your fuel supply to source is low and you are "running on reserve". Be one to feel and understand that all that is necessary for your engine to remain in perfect running condition, is to stop at the gas station and fill up each morning and each evening. Doing this, you shall always stay connected to that which you seek. Allow us to say to you that the gas station or "God station" as we lovingly refer to it is the pure universal light to which you draw into your body when you are connected. Allow it to circulate throughout. When you are feeling confused or "running on empty", simply stop and refuel.
"You may have noticed that you and many others are having a soft humming in your ears during these times. This humming is to tell to you that you are connecting to the 'universal phone line'. When you hear it, know that your energy is rising and that you connect to us and to All That Is. You may notice that it happens much more frequently lately. There is a need for you all to raise your energies and stay in tune with the universal energies as they also rise."
I was recently told in one of my meditations, that God is in constant expansion, and so are we. We really have no choice but to expand. It is our choice however, if we choose to go with the flow of the universe, or to go against it. When we choose to go with it, our lives seem to just slip into place. All we must do is pay attention to our inner joy. When we go against it, we find ourselves working much harder to do what would normally be simple tasks and then feeling tired and drained afterward.
"Work, work, work...and on and on and on...This is not the way of the one who seeks but only to live in joy. This is the way of the slave or the one controlled by the circumstances to seek a way to exist in a chaotic world. The world is a beautiful place. It is a place created to assist the souls who come here to play and experience Godness in the physical reality, not just in the form of thought. Earth is meant for joy, for learning and experiencing. Now is the time to remind others of this joy, for they are too quick to forget."
I thought to myself, "what did that mean...'to experience Godness in the physical reality?"
"Souls are not humans alone and humans are not all there is. This planet is not the only place to allow souls to experience, however, this planet does compliment a soul's growth by it's experience. The environment is one to allow the soul to experience through a body and the limitations a body has on this planet. I say to you 'limitations' only in that a human body is not completely capable of experiencing the total freedom of spirit. (Yet another subject) Through the body, the soul can feel physically the things it could only imagine elsewhere. As one experiences in the human form, so do all benefit through that one's experience, and so, the entire universe is to benefit. It is a great thing to assist the universe in it's greatest expansion."
My path, I was beginning to realize, was to assist in helping others find (or should I say, remember) their own inner joy while here on earth, and in doing so, assisting in the universal expansion. I remember being told by that same friend mentioned earlier, who happens to be a very gifted teacher of the spirit, that it's a matter of us all "graduating together" as a planet, and as a universe.
So at that point, it was time to live what I was being taught. Once I learned how to move away from the fear and towards that elusive joy, which by the way is not as easy as just saying the words, I found that the decisions I made didn't always make sense consciously. In fact, they generally went against society's idea of "normal". The key here was moving toward joy.
"Finding joy is a very simply thing. You have within you the way for your decisions to be based on pure joy. However, when you begin to do so, the 'old patterns' erupt and this causes confusion. The old patterns say 'This is not safe! I do not trust my feelings. I must follow my head!' Please understand, the head is but a way to help you navigate what the soul tells it. To listen to your head and cut out the listening to the soul, you begin to feel confused. To listen to the soul means to listen to your feelings. The emotions are not those to lead you on a path of joy either. For should you allow your emotions to lead you, you would bounce to and fro with every emotional response. So, do you see that the feelings of joy or the feelings of pain are what shall lead you? For if you feel the feeling and ignore it, it becomes emotional. When you are emotional, all it means is that you were led and chose not to listen. That is why people store their emotions in their body and eventually become ill. It is that they were not able to feel their joy or pain and allowed the internal guidance system to become shut down. If feelings are not followed, it then becomes an emotional response. It is truly the perfect way given to you to be led.
It's almost like driving a car in the middle of New York City. I want to get to the other side of town as quickly as possible, but all I see is traffic, one-way streets, dead ends, etc. You get the picture. Anyway, consciously, I know I have to go down certain roads to get there, and am not aware of a traffic accident just 2 blocks up that has traffic held at a stand-still. Guidance suddenly tells me to turn left at this street I've never gone down before, and that it'll take me much less time with much less pain. My head tells me that it doesn't make any sense, because if I go left, it would take me in the wrong direction from where I want to go. So I struggle against the traffic for a while. Then, I decide to follow that feeling I have, to turn left. So what if it doesn't make any sense. I trust, turn left, and find that I get to the other side of town not only quicker, but in much less time than it had ever taken me before. It turns out, this road was in plain sight the whole time, and hardly used by anyone else.
The roads name? Faith.
(c) 1998 Ornesha De Paoli