I had a conversation on-line with someone recently who was really mad at people who didn't believe in a "GOD." I didn't mean to talk to him, but he tossed this statement out into the room, and I thought he deserved an answer:

"I'm tired of people coming in here and saying, 'I don't believe in God,' and never explaining what that means. They only say that to get attention."

I promptly asked him what he wanted to know. His main concern seemed to be with the lack of direction/morality he perceived in the idea. Why would anyone care about anyone else if he thought he would go unpunished for it? Why would we care what happened after we were dead, if we didn't believe in some afterlife? Both very intelligent and important questions. Since I have been asked by a reader or two what my personal beliefs are, I thought I would make that the subject of this month's column.

I explained that my own belief system was based not on a denial of Godhood, but rather the denial of a sentient overseer monitoring our thoughts and actions. I personally find the idea of some omnipotent being testing us all, for the sake of proving some other slightly less omnipotent being wrong, offensive. I spent a great deal of my life trying to resolve the idea of heavenly direction into some semblance of...not logic, really...but, at the very least, common sense. It never worked for me. Where someone might have seen a God who provided wisdom and laws for his life, I saw a God used as a crutch to avoid responsibility or a lever to prove someone's own righteous place in the order of things, regardless of their actions. And that's not all I saw.

I also saw people who were clearly trying to make sense of the world and to change it, by using the fine examples that Jesus, Mohammed, and other "prophets" set. There are beautiful and beloved examples of wisdom and hope in almost every faith; however, nowhere did I see these examples as requiring heavenly revelations. Instead, I consider them the wisest reflections of great, compassionate thinkers. I thought it was belittling to us, as sentient choosers of our own destinies, to decide that such wisdom could come only from a God. Why not from ourselves, and from our observations of the world, and how it works? How much wisdom does it take to realize that we have to find ways to live together in peace and tolerance, or we'll end up hurting each other, or worse yet, leaving no hope of something better for our children?

I believe that I'm God...that you're God...that the tree in my backyard is God. I extend this on and on to everything that exists, animate or not. I believe that the only Godhood we have or need is a unity of everything. I believe that we represent our own Godhood, and that good and evil are our own choices in that representation. I also believe that what I say and do is a reflection of our collective Godhood and, as such, should not be treated casually or irresponsibly.

I have a choice: to be a constructive part of everything or a destructive part. I strive to be constructive, not because I believe I'll be punished or rewarded, but because I honestly believe that a constructive expression is our best chance of proving the truth. What is the truth? As I see it? That we're all in this together, folks, and that if we really wish for a better world, than we'd better treat each other well. Believing as I do, to treat others badly would be like treating myself badly...and I can see no chance of peace or happiness in that. And remember, when I say "each other" I don't just mean the two-legged sentient others, I also mean the beasts, the earth, the sky, the tree in my backyard, the stars, the galaxies, etc.

I don't believe in an afterlife, as such...but I do believe that I will live on...not as my "self" or ego, but as a changing part of the collective Universal Godhood. It is not necessary that anyone remember me or that I move on to some eternal "reward." It is only necessary that this present lump of Godhood called Denise does the best she can do to make the entire entity whole and healthy.

I am not afraid of eternal darkness; I don't think I'll notice. I am afraid of wasting my chances to love and to learn about and improve what I can, to the best of my ability. My deepest fear is not eternal damnation. My deepest fear is living a wasted life, without love, without compassion, without hope for whatever configuration there will be tomorrow, without making some small constructive contribution. I also believe that to ignore our place in the universe, doing nothing at all to make our little corner of it better, is to make a contribution to evil, albeit passively.

I do not despise Christians, or Pagans, or Buddhists, or anyone of the members of the world's vast store of beliefs. Let a person's works speak for them, not whatever private God/Gods/Ideals they choose. I don't feel that it's either constructive or necessary to force my beliefs onto anyone else. I do pity those people who feel obligated to endlessly do so. I am also incredibly saddened by those who are still losing their lives in battles of belief, all over the world. I suppose I could have summed this whole statement up into one question, if I chose.

Isn't how we treat each other and the universe much more important than what we believe in?

Letter to the Author: