The Transforming Power of Mirroring

In this millennium, we have new sources of power that drive technology at ever increasing speeds. As rapidly as we expand the horizons of our technological forces, we move away from a source of power that exists within all human beings.

The power to transform, to catalyze change is a power that has always been used by healers and heroes. It is available to all of us from the moment of birth. The power is mirroring.

Mirroring can only take place in close personal interactions, the intimate face to face encounters that are dwindling in the electronic age. When these connections take place, intense emotional states occur, and these states provide the energy for the mirroring process. The evolution of the power of mirroring can be traced to our earliest moments. From the time of our birth, our caretakers expertly and possibly instinctively mirror the expressions of our feelings. A baby smiles, the caretaker smiles, this is only the beginning of the process.

It is from this cocoon of interactions that the first love bonds are formed. They are intense, and they grow with consistent nurturing. The nurturing of emotional expression is driven by mirroring of the child's fluid emotional states. The caretaker reads the facial and body expressions and gives feedback to the child. The appropriate response is reflected back to the child. On the journey to adulthood, we draw on this ability to read and reflect back emotional states with our friends and family. This is the way that we connect with each other in real time.

What we do with the power to transform is the vital issue. When an individual launches that intimate connection it can be directed in many ways. In the adult/child relationship, this link is the basis for learning and for empathy. In the adult realm, politicians, actors and sales people use mirroring to perfection. They read their audience, and they reflect back exactly what is needed to get their point across. The manipulative use of this power is also found in the antisocial individual. This person has to capacity to read his or her victim's emotional states and needs and then use these data in dangerous ways. Such individuals become what their victims want them to be by reflecting information back to them in a selective manner.

Mirroring is a dynamic process, and facets of it can be learned, enhanced, and used appropriately. In the course of therapy, some professionals have learned to use their mirroring power to create a strong bond with their clients. However, in this day and age, the opportunities for long term relationships in therapy and elsewhere are dwindling.

When was the last time that you took a few moments to look at the fleeting but intense expressions on another person's face. Did it strike something inside of you, or did the moment leave no impression at all? As with all skills, abilities, and capacities, the power of mirroring must be nurtured and respected. We must interact with others with deliberate efforts to read the expressions of their internal emotional states, or these states will be invalidated and eventually lost in the evolutionary paradigm.