Long ago, in Evinlude, one lovely summer day
A noise was heard, intensely rude, that set the hounds to bay
The people stopped their work to stare, in varied states of shock
As sound waves blasted through the air and broke the village clock
The Mayor gasped, "What could that be?" The Sheriff shook his head.
"A Belching Beast, if you ask me." the wise old wizard said.
"We'll rue this day!" the mage proclaimed, "Unless we move with haste,
That foul dyspeptic beast will stay, and lay the town to waste!"
The minstrel tuned his willow lyre and puzzled o'er the question.
"I've heard of beasts that flay with fire, but none with indigestion!"
"They're rare indeed." the wizard sighed, "'Tis something in the diet."
"Well, make it leave!" the mayor cried, "I need my peace and quiet!"

The mage retired to his hold...his research came to naught.
The mayor promised fifty gold, if e'er the beast was caught.
The heroes came to town in droves...quite brave they were, and stern.
Left stalking off into the groves...but ne'er did they return.
And every day the beastie's power grew mightier by two,
His belch more horrible by the hour...they knew not what to do!
'Till one enchanted summer's night the goosegirl lost her way,
And underneath the pale moonlight she found the heroes' prey.
She watched, too scared to run and hide...he tossed upon a hummock,
Pitifully groaning, side to side, and clutching at his stomach.
His bilious face was green and pale...he rolled an evil eye,
He thrashed his hideous scaly tail and belched into the sky.

She tried to move, but 'twas too late, the beast had seen her there.
He sat up to investigate...the girl could only stare.
"What do you want? Why come you here?" the baleful beastie grumbled.
"I'm lost!" the goosegirl cried in fear...the monster's stomach rumbled.
"Well go away then" moaned the beast...the girl just stood and stuttered.
"At least I'm spared one loathsome feast!" the wretched beastie muttered.
"These heroes make me ill!" he cried, "I wish that it would stop!
They come in a relentless tide..one more, I vow...I'll pop!
They poke and prod me till I'm sore...they call out oaths, and kick,
'Till I am forced to eat one more...Egad! They make me sick!"
The girl, who was a clever lass, asked (thinking on her feet)
"If heroes give you so much gas..what would you rather eat?"

"Why rocks, of course!" he gave a shout, "'Tis why I traveled here!
I heard that farmers dig them out to keep their fields clear."
"Rocks??" The maiden feared a joke. "Rocks are all you craved?"
She couldn't wait to tell the folk...the village would be saved!
"Rocks." the belching beastie sighed, "Rocks and nothing more."
The goosegirl to the village hied...they brought him back a score.
And thus the town of Evinlude was from the terror freed,
For there were rocks in plentitude, so peace was guaranteed.
Still, every year in ten or so, a hero heard the tale,
And off 'a questing he would go, with horse and sword and mail.
Each time a mighty belch rang forth..leaves shook on every tree,
And every time, for what it's worth, the beast said "Pardon me!"