Why am I, I, and not you? What makes you, you, and me, me? Is your awareness different from the awareness I experience? Why am I, I, and you, you? Why is my ground of awareness and knowledge centred in me, and not in you? What makes me different from you in my being? Is it because the ground of awareness through which I see myself as I, is not in you? Or is it that your ground of awareness, through which you experience yourself as you and not me, is intrinsically different and separate from my ground of awareness? If my ground of awareness was centred in you, and yours in me, then will I be you, and you me? The question, therefore, is as to why my ground of awareness is centred in me, and is separate from you, and why yours is in you and separate from me. Why is it that I am I, and you are you?
These questions are not being referred to our existence related to the phenomenal dimensions. These questions relate to the source of awareness and knowledge in us. The question of existence chiefly pertains to our outer dimensions, the dimensions of body and mind. Yet without the source of awareness being there which is perceived as 'I', there can neither be the awareness of the body nor of the mind. With reference to the phenomenal dimensions of existence, the only questions that could be asked are: Why do you exist separate from me? Why is your physical dimension not my physical dimension? The answer to these questions is: the physical dimension is a material dimension and all material is characterized by space and time. I came into existence at a particular point in space and time. My body has a shape and form, and since I have a separate mind, I have my own experiences and thoughts. So my existence is separate from you at the psycho-physical level. Thus, it is easily understood as to why my empirical self is separate from your empirical self. However the separateness in awareness is not easily understood: why my awareness is not your awareness, and with reference to my being why am I not you and why you are not me? Why am I, I, and not you?
Ordinary man is so involved in his body-mind pursuits that such questions do not normally occur to him. He takes his body and mind to be so real that their reality is never doubted by him. But seekers of Truth reflect deeply on the changing dimensions of body and mind, and therefore, do not accept the body and mind as ultimate reality. Even though religious scriptures tell man that God dwells in all creatures, yet seekers want to know that if it is the same Reality in all of us, then why does one feel that he or she is different from others? The question is about the very being, that if my source of awareness is the same as yours, then why do I feel that I am I, and not you?
Suppose there are two brothers, and that both of them are wearing masks which portray them as enemy of each other. Now if their masks were removed, their hostility towards each other disappears because they will see the truth that they are brothers. They were appearing as enemy to each other because they were wearing masks of each other's enemy. Similarly, in the spiritual dimension, if we were able to see the spirit, which is the same in all, then all the differences will vanish. As a result of this realization, we would have nothing but love for all creatures. When we see the same essence in ourselves and in all others around us, then there is love for all, and no hostility remains towards anyone.
The question as to why I am I, and not you, can only be answered when this mystery is revealed to us. In the dimension where we see God in all, there is no fear, no enmity, for, there is no other. Why am I, I, and not you? Why my awareness is my awareness and not yours? Why do I not see things from your centre? Why do I see things from my centre? Are you and me two different realities? If I became you, can I still ask the question "Why am I, I, and not you?" There are so many profound dimensions to this question that seeking answers to them can lead one to enlightenment.
"...as long as there is this distinction that I am I, and you are you, there is ignorance and illusion...."
What was I before I was I, in the sense of my present awareness as 'I am'? Was my awareness really different before I was I, i.e. before what it is now? A rudimentary aspect of this question is what was I before I was born in the body of a human being. This question is rudimentary because it is limited to the identity of phenomenal existence. One may believe or imagine oneself existing in the past as a dog, cat, horse, fish, or bird. But the question what was I before I was I, is deep and profound. The awareness that I am in now, was this the same awareness before I knew I was I? Did I exist before with the awareness of I, or of another form of awareness? Was my awareness, before I was I, more limited and specific or was it more general and universal? Was I then aware of myself as an individual, a being different from others, or was my awareness a part of the universal awareness?
What will I be after I am not I. Again there is a rudimentary aspect to this question: What will I be after death? Will I be reborn as a man, animal, fish, or bird after I die? But the question under reflection concerns the being of man, the awareness part of the existence. Firstly, why am I, I, and not you. Secondly, what was I before I was I. And thirdly a concern, what will I be after I am not I. The seeker sees his centre of awareness separate from others; he is not sure if his awareness is different from others, but he does see that the other is other, and that he is he. So in this sense he is separate from others; he does not experience that the same essence is in others. That it is the same essence in all can only be experienced when one realizes the Truth. The Ultimate Truth is that in all creatures dwells the same essence. Without realizing the Truth, one remains in ignorance wasting life in vain.
Religious scriptures do tell us the Truth, but the problem is that ordinary man neither seeks the Truth nor registers the message. Too busy in the worldly entanglements, man seldom reflects deeply on the profoundness of the message. The message about the Ultimate Reality remains foreign to most people: it never forms a part of their consciousness. For most people practice of religion is limited to ritualism, formalism, symbolism, and ceremonialism. Only rare ones understand that unless the Ultimate Reality, the very source of our awareness, is realized, all religious formalism is in vain. It is not merely an understanding of the Guru's message in the intellectual centre, but a realization of the Truth in the heart that dispels the ignorance which creates the illusion of 'I' and 'you'. As long as there is this distinction that I am I, and you are you, there is ignorance and illusion. When the realization of the spirit occurs, then one rises above duality and attains to a state of true peace and bliss.
Why I am I and not you? What was I before I was I? Will I be I after I am not I? These questions are not just the verbal expressions pertaining to man's physical existence. They are the real questions pertaining to man's being and awareness. What happens to man's awareness as the outer form changes with time: "Will I continue to have an awareness of the type I have now, or will it be different? Did I have a different type of awareness before I had this awareness that I have now? Is my awareness the same as yours?" These are the most profound and deep questions. These questions will cease to arise when one is enlightened, for, when one is enlightened one knows that there is no "I" and "You", there is only One, that One.
- written by Dr. Santokh Singh, Ph.D. - edited by Bhupinder Singh - printed with permission from the author
An incident of death observed in early childhood started the inquiry into the phenomenon of consciousness. Having received the gift of spiritual orientation from his father, a highly evolved soul, the author studied Sri Guru Granth Saaheb while still young. Academically self-educated, he received his Bachelor of Arts from Punjab University, and joined Indian Military Academy in 1956, serving as an officer in the Indian Army till 1982. He received his Master of Arts in Philosophy and Psychology and was later conferred the Doctorate in Philosophy by Poona University in 1978. He came to Canada in 1986 and has since been directing the activities of Gurmat Get-Togethers and Self-Awareness and Awakening Sessions held at the Institute of Spiritual Studies, where hundreds of youth born and brought up in North America have learnt Guru Nanak's message of Divine Love and unity of mankind.
The author's views on the process and path of attainment is that the masses are seldom right in their pursuits; their major pursuits are materialism, self-love, and intellectualism. Only a few understand the deceptiveness of these pursuits and they are the ones who take their first step into the spiritual world and settle down to fight their egoism. We are all in a sort of optical illusion in which we continuously operate as functional consciousness; we function more as a body-mind machine acting under the external forces of attraction and repulsion; we have no will of our own nor the capacity to do anything in the real sense. A few among us realize this predicament and work hard to remain self-aware and witness their consciousness identifying with the functioning of their body- mind machine. In other words, it is the Real within us that normally refers to objects without being aware that it so refers. When it becomes aware of itself so referring, then it can dissociate itself from the body-mind system and can thus become conscious of consciousness itself. Rare are the ones who ceaselessly remain aware and realize their Real Self, thus attaining to the fruit of human life. Realizing the Real Self implies attaining to a state of non-duality: by constantly remaining self-aware, consciousness becomes conscious of itself. It is the Real within us which self-consciously dissociates itself from the natural body and mind. This self dissociating entity is nothing but consciousness-in-itself -- consciousness conscious of itself.
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