Some emotions, such as those associated with the sex drive, are tied too closely with the human part of us for any talk of dispelling any illusion about sex. So we won't. Ceasing fantasizing about sex will go a long way toward alleviating its power, but we will still be left with the biological drive.
The other emotions which frequently overwhelm us and cause us to do things we wish we hadn't, those whose sole reason for being is because the mind accepts their premises as reality, those are fair game.
Fear's function is to keep ego safe. Fear is always of the mind. We fear what is going to come. If the fear is far in the future, we call it worry. If the fear concerns control of situations, we call it anxiety. We fear fire, death and disaster. We fear not having insurance in case of accident. We fear disease and disability. When these things happen, there is no fear for these things then. Instead there is fear of what is going to happen now that THAT has happened. In the future. In the mind.
Fear is sometimes a limiting power. Fear of belonging to a cult or fear of capture by a mind mesmerizer keeps many away from growth areas. Fear of the establishment keeps many others in situations they abhor. Fear of insecurity keeps many of us in a constant state of insecurity. We feel that we cannot be secure until we ARE secure, as if we could be secure in a universe where the future is hidden from us.
Fear of being poor keeps many from taking chances that could lead to riches. Fear of losing our sex partner causes us to seek assurances frequently, makes us suspicious of their every move, and eventually causes us to lose them.
Intense fear - phobia, has three functions. It causes what we fear to be more likely to happen, it keeps us hypnotized so that we can't function properly because we aren't aware of all that is going on around us, and it makes our lives miserable.
The end game of all fears is death. Death of ego either by embarrassment or by our body refusing to operate. We believe ourselves to be that which we believe ourselves to be, ego, so if it dies, we disappear. We believe ourselves to be a part of existence instead of existence itself, so we believe deep down, that we will leave one day, while the rest of existence goes on its merry way without even a careless look back.
Small fears overcome by informed discipline creates confidence. This confidence loosens the power of larger, more personal fears, enabling these to be overcome using the same informed discipline. For instance, say that you bought something in a store that didn't work like it should, but you dread taking it back because you're afraid they may say no and you will get angry and cause a scene. But the thought of being taken advantage of makes you feel angry and inferior.
Imagine yourself taking the object back to the store and asking for a refund. Imagine the worst thing they could do to you. They refuse. You insist. Are they going to be rude to you? Can you handle that? Are they going to yell at you? Can you handle that? Can you stand there politely even if they call the police? Make your decision as to how far you are willing to go, and then whenever a worry starts to come up about it, simply say to yourself, "no I can handle whatever comes up, up to and including...". This will increase your confidence in yourself, causing you to be a more pleasant person to talk to, increasing the likelihood that the exchange will be a pleasant one.
Anger is another intense emotion which effectively keeps us trapped in the valley of illusion. It also has many attributes we find in fear. Anger has a use to us for survival, just as does fear, but, like fear, it most commonly makes its appearance at inopportune moments, causing us to be unable to function sensibly. Anger's use is in the increased aggressiveness combined with increased determination and muscle power which it generates. Its liability to us is that it usually causes us to use these attributes in a haphazard and detrimental manner. Anger used in a conscious manner is an effective tool. Used in an unconscious manner, it is a hazard.
Curiously anger arises from fear. If we are frightened, at first we jump, then we scowl and yell. Anger may be brought on by fear of humiliation, fear of rejection, fear of scarcity, and fear of uncertainty. Actually, this is not too surprising, this attachment anger has for fear. Fear is a natural result of the formation of ego, and anger protects ego from any attack.
Anger always comes from within. No one or no thing can make us angry, ever. If we are angry, all we have to do to find out what is making us angry is to look inside and see. We may not always find the origination of the anger, it may be hidden too deeply, but at least we will be looking in the right place. Looking inside for anger's cause instead of looking "out there" for the cause gives us a two-pronged method of attacking uncontrolled anger.
If we are angry and look inside to find out what part of ego is in danger of having the covers pulled off it, the very act of looking will distract our attention away from that which SEEMS to be causing the anger. This will have the effect of diminishing, if not altogether eliminating, the anger. Secondly, if we do find out what it was that we thought about the world that turns out not to be true, this awareness will eliminate that particular root cause of anger.
Desires. Ah, yes desires. What could possibly be wrong with having desires? As it turns out, all desires have at the end, the certainty of disillusionment. If we desire something and don't get it, we suffer disappointment. If we DO get it, we quickly find that it wasn't quite what we thought it was going to be, and we feel disappointed.
Whatever we desire exists only in the mind- in imagination. We may very well have all we need or want right now, but not recognize that fact because of the mesmerizing ability of the mind.
Ego may tell us that power, money or fame will bring us happiness, but the real truth of the matter is that we would have the happiness if we didn't have the desire for power, money or fame. Ego always has things backwards. It always reaches toward the end, never the means. To ego, painting a picture is for the purpose of having a painting, or of being an artist. Reality recognizes that the painting of the picture, the "doing" of it is all there is. The finished product is merely the physical representation of the reality of painting, and has no value in and of itself, except in any message it may transmit to a viewer.
Desires and wishes are feelings attending the difference between what IS and what we believe must BE in order for us to feel satisfaction. The desire for something, anything, is like the desire to have painted a picture. Once we have acquired what we desire or have painted a picture, what then? Another desire? Another painting?
Love is the creative force. It is the force behind growth - physical, mental and emotional. It is the force behind sexual attraction. It is the force behind the desire to create beauty. It is found in hunting. It is found in sacrifice, in ingestion, in elimination. Love is the "reason" for existence.
This love, this real love casts a shadow out "there". The shadow of Self's love is existence. What the world calls love is actually need. Usually. "I love you" means "I need you". Real love is a feeling of completeness and acceptance with everything just as it is. Illusory love is a feeling of possessing something without which we would feel a lack. Real love for ourselves translates into humility - an acceptance and gratitude for ourselves just as we are. Illusory love for ourselves is that pride that our culture feels is so important for our self-esteem, the pride that is energized by winning at some thing or other, or energized by receiving praise for some activity prized by the culture.
Speaking of humility, Meher Baba, an Indian "Holy Man" now deceased, claimed to the world that he was God. When someone once complained that the statement didn't show much humility, Meher Baba replied, "Would you rather I lied?" Humility demands that false humility cease and desist. We are what we are. We are not what we wish to be, nor what we wish to appear to be.
We are love personified, but we have covered ourselves with so much crap which ego tells us we need, that we don't recognize it. We are told that love comes from some person or other, and while we are looking for it we don't notice that the feeling we are having is not love, but a feeling of desperation born of lack.
Once we find this "love", not recognizing that it is need, we feel we must secure it so that we won't have to make the search again, so we make deals. "I'll show you expressions of love if you'll show me expressions of love".
If we do some act for the purpose of receiving or showing signs of love, then that act will NOT be for the purpose of expressing love. An immediate act cannot be used for more than one purpose, because we cannot have more than one motive at a time. If we give flowers out of guilt, or to assuage anger, then that's what will be shown to the other person. The act of giving flowers in this case will not show love. If we do any act out of a sense of duty, or to SHOW love, we are prevented from doing it out of love. Love is expressed when all other considerations are gone. We have somehow gotten the idea that love can be expressed in a prescribed manner. Love is a feeling, not an action.
Every action we take is always done for one of two purposes, for one of two motives. We do things out of fear, or we do them out of love. Always. No exceptions. Watch your motives and you will see this to be true. This makes for an easy spiritual discipline. All we have to do before we are about to do something is to look and see why we are doing it. If we see any fear- say fear of not being able to rid ourselves of the feeling of pity, or of not being seen as a "good" person, or fear of embarrassment, then we automatically know we are not doing the action out of love. This reminds me of an Eastern truism "In order to never do evil, all we have to do is to do only good".
Most of us are saddled with certain ritual expressions which we don't wish to continue, but feel we must for fear the loved one will think we are ungrateful, or no longer love them. We get so caught up in the symbols of love that we mistake the symbols for the expressions. Doing our duty in no way substitutes for giving love, whether it is to our parents, our spouse, our children or our country. Doing our duty and giving our love are two distinct acts. One is a job, the other a joy. Doing a voluntary duty, say feeding your children, is an act of love. Paying child support because of a court order is not.
Every ritual with which we have burdened ourselves involves ourselves and another person, place or thing. If we are in a love ritual with another person, and if the ritual is not a free expression on our part, it will be felt by the other person. They will know why you do the ritual, although it may be known only unconsciously. Both parties will feel the ritual as something that HAS to be done, as something the other expects. Each will not be free to show love in that ritual because the expression will have been superseded by the "duty". Gift giving on holidays or calling someone on a special day are common examples of this. If one does not feel joy, or a warm sensation in the chest at giving or calling, then the ritual is not an expression of love. It is an expression of duty.
Burdensome rituals can be broken simply be stopping them. The hard part is dealing with the hurt feelings of the other party, or rather the hurt feelings we imagine they will have. This part passes quickly however, especially if explanations for the act of quitting is given, and after the initial misunderstanding the other party will see that even though the ritual is gone, the love is still there, and much stronger since it is free to express itself in a manner acclimated to the one expressing.
Next month - the conclusion of "It's all Done with Mirrors!"