Listening to National Public Radio on Sunday night, the end of the Hearts of Space program, there is a single flute winding a rich though simple tune. It perfectly matches an image of sinuously rising rock walls shadowing a narrow stream that winds through a sandy wash.
When you seek, begin in your heart. The cave of the heart is the home of truth. - Deepak Chopra, The Way of the Wizard
The heart is the seat of prosperity…..What needs to be fully appreciated for prosperity to manifest is the way of the heart in the world, the way of giving and receiving….The reward of the heart is community in its highest sense.- Rick Jarow, Creating the Work You Love
"The cave of the heart is the home of truth." How many times do we think we know what the heart is saying, only to find out later it was the ego, the graspingly needy ego?
What does it take to prospect that cave — and how does one even go about sinking through the narrow entrance hole? Caves are great for feeling claustrophobic in tight passageways, crawling or dragging one's self along, sometimes through mud and water. The very envisioning of being in such snug quarters causes my body to take deep breaths and to stretch, reminding myself that I am not physically there.
But consider the cave of the heart. As you are squirming through the narrow, twisted tunnels into your heart, what are the truths you hope to discover? What would be a gemstone or — even better — the motherlode of truth for you?
My guess is, is that for most, it would not be the simple statement of Rick Jarow that "the heart is the seat of prosperity." How many times have you heard it said, as you give, so shall you receive? It is amazing how that truth of 2000 years ago — and likely millenia before that — is reiterated in all the envisioning prosperity books. It is also amazing how difficult it is to fully grasp the truth and then, even further, to live it.
A time ago, I experienced the graspingly needy ego in a particularly troublesome way. I wanted to be loved, in several different ways: I wanted recognition (and love) for doing things, such as for the church to which I belonged; and I wanted to be physically loved in a relationship. I chose an exceptionally needy person with whom to experience that. It seemed that in order to learn about my own needy ego (as I see it now), I had to know someone who was even needier. (A judgmental statement, but it was the reality I experienced.)
For some as yet undetermined reason, recently I've been having memory flashbacks to those years, and heaven forbid, the fellow has been showing up in dreams. I can only hope that I am finally subconsciously processing what I learned and forgiving myself for acting so stupidly. (Although when I consider the financial cost, it still takes my breath away…my stupidity, I mean.)
My giving was not the same as the giving that Rick Jarow describes — freely giving with no expectation of receiving a particular thing, a giving of the heart because it is the only way to live. No, I wanted something particular in return, and the cave of the heart gave me something in return — a lesson…repeated when I didn't get it the first time.
I'm not sure if these thoughts make a whole lot of sense, and I'm going to cut them short and end with an older poem, inspired by Joseph Campbell's "The Power of Myth" series, which a group of us watched and discussed more than ten years ago:
The Dragons Within
I've heard that to find bliss
is to find heaven on earth
and the search, the longest journey,
begins and ends with my deepest truths
one truth is my speechlessness in groups
but the deeper truth is
never being listened to as a child
never encouraged to speak out
never developing the skill of presenting thoughts
meaningfully under stress
the deeper truth is a feeling of trial,
of judgement when I speak to others
a dragon within
one truth is the fear of being very close
always able to walk away
the deeper truth is the fear of being abandoned
closed off from love
echoes again of those early days
another dragon within
if these truths are dragons to be slain
then let me pull them out, examine them
put them aside drained of all their venom
and welcome new truths of capability, of trust
and reach the sense of heaven on earth
I feel when lilacs drift the air in May
* * * * *
Peace be within you and around you,
Cherie