Sunday, I played an Easter concert from hell. The priests all sounded like they were reading jello recipes. With lime green jello and marshmallows. ("Now insert the Holy Spirit into your jello mold, and be sure to add finely chopped pieces of cherry and marshmallows, all the while reciting 'Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Eats Lime Green Jello, Too.'
Very good, now let us pray for jello and pray for Kool Whip")
They mentioned the recent abuses by the elder priests. They mentioned he died for us and wow what a great event. They mentioned how wonderful it is that we were all together. And it was all in that Lime Green Jello recipe voice. "Be sure to boil water. Now, stir in your lime green jello powder. Get down on your knees and pray that lime green jello removes your sins."
Amen. Hallelujah. Wednesday in the church cafeteria Father Koohooplah will be discussing meat loaf recipes. And did you know you can scrub your pans with a scrub brush and not scratch them. The key is to say forty Holy Mary's and it's all in the wrist. Remember to use hot pads when taking your meat loaf from the oven. We will now pass the lime green jello collection plate. Happy Easter. Here we go round the mulberry bush.
(Copyright 2002 by Darius Gottlieb - No reproduction without express permission from the author)
You're invited to visit Darius' website for more of his photographs and his music at Art Bliss
Letter to the Author at SoulGnosis@aol.com