The Gift of Forgiveness

Why is it that forgiveness is such a difficult thing to do? Is it that we feel if we are quick to forgive someone for what they have done, that we are in a sense letting them off the hook for the pain we believe they have caused? I remember hearing that if we think we are done with our forgiveness work in this life, we need but simply hold our hands to the light and check to see if we can see through our human form. If we can, it means we have ascended to a higher level of vibration and we are returning to the Spirit realm from which we came. If we can't, we are still in the body and have more work to do. I'm still checking mine occasionally and find I am still here, and I continually find things buried within me that need forgiving.

Forgiveness has always seemed spiritually like such a noble thing to do. To be able to rise above feelings of hurt and anger and to just do the right thing. Is it the ego that wants to be right, wants to be revengeful, and wants to hang on to things that can't be changed? When I truly look at any of my own issues of 'unforgiveness,' I find that it is indeed the ego not willing to release what is already over and done with. Maybe it's rejection, or deception, the hurt of a relationship that ended painfully, or the pain of someone saying something that may have deeply wounded your spirit. Whatever the case may be, forgiveness and acceptance are the keys to finding inner peace and personal happiness. I think most of us know this on some level, but it is one of those principles that are much easier said than actually done.

When my 18-year-old nephew, Christopher, was dying of cancer, it was one of the most difficult things I had ever faced. I have loved many people in my life, but the love I felt for this remarkable kid was one of the strongest I had ever known. I had come to terms with the fact that I would most likely never be a parent in this lifetime, and I was okay with that. I always felt that if I was to be a parent, I would want a child who was as loving and joyful as Chris. In many ways I felt he was my child. We were always close and even worked together the last few years of his life. He would share with me things he couldn't share with others, and I really loved knowing he felt he could come to me and open up. During his illness I watched him change from a fun loving teenage boy into one of the finest young men I have ever known. He was stronger than what I believe I could have been with all he had to face. I never lost my faith that God knew what was happening and that there was an order to it all. I never was angry with God for the situation, or the fact that we might have to let Chris go. I did, however, become angry with other people who were also involved in Chris' life. I began to judge their behavior when he was hurt by some of their actions. I wanted to stand up and fight for him, protect and comfort him, and make everyone act according to my standards. I had expectations and some of these people were not living up to them, and I was very, very angry. Isn't that how it is sometimes? We have expectations of what life should be or how life should turn out, and when things don't go the way we dreamed or planned, we become angry and resentful toward others, ourselves, and even, sometimes, God.

In the past few weeks, I have found within myself the anger and pain of Christopher's passing bubbling to the surface once more, and reminding me that I still have some work to do, to find that place of forgiveness within me so that I can find peace and closure. I can't go back and change what was, but I can change the way I choose to think about what actually took place. I can release my anger and pain and choose to accept the lessons of this experience, both the good and the not so good. For myself, I know I am a much better person because of having had Chris in my life. That's what life's experiences are all about. What did I learn? Did I learn how to love more and to be more?

One of the last requests Chris ever made to me was that I not be angry with some of the people he loved. My prayer is this, “Father help me forgive what has been.” Not forgiving past situations and feelings of unresolved hurt can keep us in a place of misery and block the flow of good into our lives. If you feel there is a block within you, it's time to forgive. I keep asking myself, “What is it that I'm really upset over?” Suddenly I realize that it has to do with issues that aren't even mine. I am angry at how I perceive someone else's behavior. I have to understand that I am not responsible for the way others choose to express who they are. I am responsible however for who I am, and how I choose to express myself. When we grasp this particular principle, forgiveness can begin to gently ease it's way into our hearts and open new doors towards our own healing. When we can begin that journey we then create the space to allow others the ability to find their path to healing as well. No matter how spiritual we may believe ourselves to be, no matter the knowledge we may have accumulated in our seeking God and universal wisdom while here on this plane of existence, we will always be dealing with our emotions and the need to forgive. What is it that lies within you unresolved? Where have you not been willing to forgive? Forgiveness really is quite a noble thing to do after all. It is a wonderful gift you give to others, but it is a far greater gift that you give to yourself. Release any pain and unforgiven issues into the white light of the Holy Spirit and know that it is done. For in all the vastness of the Universe, in all the wonderment of what Spirit is, there is no greater place to dwell than in that place of your own inner contentment and indescribable peace. I wish for you great joy and peace in your lives and on your continued spectacular journey to discover the truth of who you really are. Until next month, be good to yourself, be good to others and keep spreading “The Light.”