I was speaking with a friend of mine recently about college, and the existing core cirriculum. I have always wondered why it is that although we are made to take history, art, math, lit, psychology and even physical education as required courses, we have no provisions in most cirriculums for any courses relating to human relationships, or interaction. Why aren't there courses in constructive communication, or empathy, or just plain learning to listen? We are given a wide range of subjects to complete in order to help us choose a path in life..and that's important. But isn't it also important to acquire skills to help us get along and understand the many types of people that we will need to walk that path with?
I know..it sounds silly. But is it? Consider this. Most course requirements and core cirriculums, in both high school and college were established in the years between 1950 - 1960. Some things have changed since then, like the inclusion of a required number of writing classes to combat growing illiteracy, the inclusion of physical education, certain health courses, and some international options in the area of sociology. But there have been no real additions in the area of human relationships. We still depend on young people being taught those thing in other areas of their lives. This made sense in the 1950's..children still lived mostly with both parents, with neighbors they knew most of their lives. They were nurtured by communities, and often had summer jobs. Social events were more common, and almost always supervised by adults, at least during high school years. These experiences provided a rich background in human relationships. Your parents taught you things about marriage, and personal relationships with the opposite sex, both positive and negative. Chaperoned events gave you a clear sense of what was considered right and/or wrong in relation to manners, and public deportment. The summer job taught you about the value of money..how easy it was to spend, how hard to save..how irresponsibility would not get you that item that you had been hoping to save for this year. So many lessons to be learned in the areas of living in the real world..yet even with all this to build on, they had so much to learn once they got out on their own.
How much less then are young people prepared now? Our nomadic, commuting society is quite different than the family of yesterday. So many children today are dropped off at school, while their parents hustle off to their respective jobs in order to make ends meet. This of course is only the scenario in two parent homes, which are not as numerous as they used to be. The children are picked up after school if they're lucky..if not, they join the growing army of latchkey children..coming home to fend for themselves, or perhaps to a paid child care group. Jobs are no longer a lifelong commitment. They can and do change often, sometimes requiring a relocation..which means a whole set of new strangers to live near, and a new set of friends to make. Social areas and planned activities for teenagers are rare now..the mall has replaced the block party..the street has replaced the back yard. Deep, lasting relationships are harder to find and emulate under these new conditions. Summer jobs are no longer as easy as they used to be, either. Teenagers compete with adults for jobs that used to be considered "growing experiences." The few that can be had are grabbed up quickly, leaving many children with little or no opportunity to experience the responsibility and independence of having their own money. Television becomes recreation for those who opt to stay at home and out of trouble. This occupation does not teach us how to be creative, or to think for ourselves, to find a richness and purpose for our own lives. Rather, it teaches us that other people can do that for us, while we watch.
Without yesterday's opportunities to learn to get along with each other, to interact with peers in social situations, to learn what working with and for people is about, is it really so far fetched to consider a bit of training somewhere along the way to help young people grow? Actually..I might consider enrolling in a few classes myself. It couldn't hurt. ;>
Denise Ruiz
Editor - Seeker Magazine