"I can't ethically or morally allow the birth of Creation. Who is the Father? And I wasn't back by ten o'clock!"God undergoes analysis.
"It feels absolutely narcissistic. And totally indulgent! It's all about Me, Me, Me.If the Creator expressed unresolved problems with Creation, would we ourselves gripe less?
And then .... There was Me . . . . . . Oh my God, it's Me all over, one more time!"
"I want to be regarded as considerate & sensitive. I can't conceive the Big Bang taking place - - my huge explosions would clearly violate local noise ordinances."Or imagine if we discovered that God is a Mama's boy...
"She told me to never, ever play with Myself. Stunts your growth."Imagine if God delayed Creation because of insecurity, feeling wobbly 'bout Divine identity?
"I'm unsure about My Masculinity. With all this conception, there appears to be an imbalance and decided overemphasis on my feminine side."What if God were artistically inhibited, too shy to implode into the unknown with the fiery fecundity of His Creation ... and, His neurosis prevents the release of an indwelling presence...
"It's highly exhibitionistic, extroverted, even masturbatory. What would the neighbors say?"What if God wouldn't differentiate Heaven & Earth because of fears of demonstrating partiality...
"I can't separate the light from the darkness; it suggests favoritism."What if God was thin-skinned, oversensitive and desperately needing approval...
"It might be an enormous mistake. What do the exit polls reveal? Eeek! Creation might not be all that popular. It could mutate way out of control. I want them to love me so very much. Pretty please! But - - gosh darn it - - I might not like it myself!Imagine if God had to justify Creation to petty religious leaders on Earth, then refused to bring the Universe into being due to concerns of being psychoanalyzed and publicly criticized?
Golly gee, what am I to do? I know, I'll nominate a committee so that Earth is appreciated by everyone. No...hmmm...that's not going to fly. I'll leave it to the mortals themselves. They feel important when they think they're in charge!"
...The Jews would say, "What, only seven days? Eight's a round number. How about ten?"Fortunately for us, there weren't any Congressional caucuses or panels in place to make budgetary suggestions concerning handiwork from the Architect of Creation.
...The Catholics would say, "What, only one son? A family requires more children."
...The Muslims would say, "What, only women are allowed to conceive? But men are far superior, and need to be in charge of birth, for quality control."
...The Buddhists would say, "What, only light & dark, dawn & dusk? Isn't that possibly an overemphasis on duality?"
...The Pagans would say, "What, insufficient feast days? How about more holidays?"
...The Mormons would say, "What, only stewardship over the Earth? Shouldn't we also assist with stewardship over the Heavens, as well?"
...The Hindus would say, "What, only birth, existence and Death? Shouldn't there be more diversionary entertainment, like Ma Jong?"
...The Quakers would say, "What, you had to be a showoff? Wouldn't you have been just as happy creating a system with a few less complications?"
...The existentialists would say, "We have nothing to say."Perhaps we should make a truly gracious donation to the Eighth-Day-Dyslexic-Adventist- Existentialist-College-Fund. It's an on-campus group worthy of your sensitive compassion.
Support Eight-Day Dyslexic Adventists Now! They need your empathy.The Adventists reply:
"Um, yeah ... sure! ... Whatever.
OK, print this: GOD gets an A+ for mega attitude."
Letter to the Author at SoulGnosis@aol.com
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