A friend made a comment a while ago, that I should have paid closer attention to. She said that the absence of the front porch was leading to the downfall of our society. I thought I knew what she meant at the time, and nodded agreeably, but it wasn't until later that the full impact of her statement sunk in. It returned to haunt me due to an incident that occurred in my apartment building.
I was tapping away busily at my computer one afternoon when I heard strange noises across the hall. I walked to the door and listened for a few moments, unwilling to look out for fear of being thought of as "nosy." It didn't take very long for me to realize that the noises sounded suspiciously like someone fiddling with a neighbor's door.
I didn't know them very well. I only knew that they were newly arrived in the country, and that they cooked things that left wonderful, exotic aromas in the hallway. Worried that someone might be breaking into their apartment, I hesitantly opened the door and peeked out.
I was thoroughly embarrassed. The father of the new family next door was sitting amongst his tools in his doorway, repairing the lock. Feeling the world's biggest busybody, I apologized hastily. He gave me a warm smile and said "Thank you." I closed the door softly, puzzled. Thank you? Why?
That was when I got it. The front porch. Of course!
We used to live in communities of people that knew each other. We used to sit on our front porches and chat with our neighbors. We used to know who everyone was, and could spot a stranger a mile away. We knew each other's faces, routines and whereabouts..and because of this we kept each other safe. My neighbor was thanking me for my concern, for caring enough to open the door. He had not been offended by my "nosiness" at all.
I felt strangely ashamed of myself now for hesitating to open that door immediately. I realized suddenly how few of my neighbors I actually knew, or had talked to. I began to wonder about them..who they were..what they did..what their smiles looked like.
But here, we all live behind locked doors..and we have no front porches. We have been taught to be very careful not to intrude on each other's lives and business. Our building has no common ground to meet without intrusion. I found myself longing for a yard..a bench..a sitting room. Alas. Nothing. And I want to meet my neighbors.
This is going to require some thought..but that's okay. I have a feeling it will be well worth the effort. :>
Denise Ruiz
Editor - Seeker Magazine