AVANT SOUL

I was traveling the back roads, seeking peace and solace, when Jesus showed up, driving a shiny SUV.

"Oh, Christ, not you," I said.

"Yes, it's Me. I had to keep up with the times."

"In an SUV?"

"Look, it has a sun roof."  The Lord ignored my question.

"There's room for the apostles in back," He continued.

"Christ! Why are you here?"

"You're not happy to see Me?"  His face showed incredulity.

"Well, yes, of course, it's just ..."

"You asked for Me to appear!"

"I know, but I didn't think ..."

"So ... You knock, I answer, and all you seem to care about is the car I'm driving ...?" 

"Jesus, you're right, of course, I asked in the Name of the Holy Spirit, never dreaming ..."

"I still appear," He said. "Why should my Mother be the only one to materialize and get the lion's share of credit?"

HE  looked right through me, as if I wasn't clothed in bones or with skin. My God! -- Compassionate eyes penetrated to my core.  I was touched and moved by His presence and experienced chills & electric fingers of the Holy Spirit caressing me, anointing me, coursing through my shoulders and along my back ...

"But in an SUV?" I stammered stubbornly.

"I can't make house calls?"

"I thought you'd come in through the air, or --"

"A vision?" Jesus asked. "It's 2002. Wake up! Everyone's asking for a sign. I had my rest, I'm recovered from the pain of that unforgettable day --"

A silence of knowing passed between us and I shuddered involuntarily.

"I'm humbled and speechless, my Lord. I never thought to see you as --"

"The WORD made flesh?" He completed my unfinished thought.

"Driving a red SUV," I mumbled.

"It is a miracle," Christ agreed.

"That you picked fire engine red?" I continued. 

"They were completely out of blue."

"I'm liking the gold accents," I said. "Very tasteful."

Christ gazed at me as if I was an idiot. I felt insecure, then peered into the spotless and perfect vehicle for lack of something better to do. "I see you got a speeding ticket."

"I was driving a bit too fast."

"How fast, Lord?"

"Approaching the speed of light.  I slowed down to 90 when I saw these very festive colored lights ..."

"That was the CHP pulling you over."

"I KNOW who the CHP is," Christ responded sharply.

"You weren't asked for your license?"

"A rookie. I told him that I was God and blessed him."

"And ..."

"He still wrote the ticket."

"But how -- "

"It was my first time. He wasn't truly open to the anointing, anyway," said Christ.

"Couldn't you have forced him to not write the ticket?"

I had the distinct impression He was actually glaring at me.

"You're God!" I persisted.

"I don't force myself on people!" Jesus responded with passion. "I'm not interested unless they personally invite me in.  He was confused enough by My presence."

"Pigs!" I snorted, and the derisive sound I made was truly unappealing.

"Excuse me?"

"Forgive me, Jesus, I was being negative about police officers."

"It's all right.  He wasn't very evolved."

"But you did manage to have him forget to ask for your registration ..."

Christ smiled. "He was floored and dazed, a young, inexperienced soul ..."

I waited.

"Yet still insisted -- rather automatically -- on writing the citation."

"Human nature," I noted, sounding very astute and wise.

"Human habit," Christ replied.

"Is this your Second Coming?" I wondered.

"Not yet."