At this time of the year I spend a lot of time thinking about the things we say to those we love. Often when we are angry, frustrated or upset, we lash out at the ones closest to us in order to vent our feelings. The feelings that cause such reactions are not always even related to our loved ones, it is simply that they are most often *there*...in proximity to our anger. Because they are closest to us, they most often suffer from our negative feelings, and the actions brought about from those feelings. Even in cases in which the anger is not misplaced, the reaction and words we use are not always in proportion to the problem. Anger, fear and frustration can make even the smallest problems seem huge. We lose the ability to step back from the situation...to think rationally..to discuss calmly...to communicate effectively.
I've often wished for an alarm of some sort. A flashing red signal that would let me know that this is *not* the time to be opening my mouth, and letting the fury loose. Some indicator that would remind me to stop, take a breather, think a bit, and then approach whatever subject or problem it was that was raising the red flag. I wonder how many tragedies would be averted if we only had such a tool.
We are all subject to these moments. How many times have you wished you could take some nasty action or comment back? How many times have you snapped or yelled at your wife, husband or children...your friends, parents or siblings? Sometimes the words are no sooner out of our mouths before we realize how sorry we are for them. And we all know how hard such things are to take back...to apologize for.
And what if the worst happens? A moment of anger, hard words said, feelings hurt...and no chance to say "I'm sorry." What if the words you thoughtlessly throw out are the last words you will ever say to someone? What if you never have a chance to make amends? It can happen...I know...It has happened to me. And every September I wish once again for the chance to say "I'm sorry...I didn't mean it. I really do love you...I was just angry."
Be careful what you say to the people you love. Don't ever let an angry word be your last word to anyone...especially your loved ones. Try hard to keep things in perspective..and if you can't, (we are only human, after all) then at least make amends as quickly as possible. There is a lot of wisdom in the old maxim "Never let the sun set on your anger." Treat everyone you love as if it were their last day on earth...just in case.
Denise Ruiz
Editor