There's a glade I went to 15 years ago..right after my son died...in Kent Falls, CT. I was sitting on a rock by a tiny stream...no one was around, just me and the inconstant company of the rushing water.In spite of the shafts of bright sunlight streaking the surface of the water, and making emerald silk out of the moss on the grey stones, I was miserable. I was trying to find something...some sign or signal...something to prove that Michael had been alive. Nothing touched me...not the watersong...not the wind whispers...nothing...for the longest time. It was like being suspended in a bubble.
When suddenly, around the curve of the stream, a large bird came rushing at me...flying low. I had only an instant to see it...it was heading right for my face, seemingly oblivious of my presence.. By the time it realized it was on a collision course, it only had time to brake back and tip itself up over my head. I had a vivid image of bright astonished eyes, and blurred feathers.
The wind from it's course actually lifted my hair...and then it was gone...flying to where ever it needed to be in such a hurry. I sat for a moment in total shock...and then I laughed...for absolutely no reason except that it had been a wonderful instant. I never knew what to think...someoene asked me what I thought it meant...I told him I wouldn't presume to guess..
I only knew I went into the wood miserable...and came out uplifted...so I guess I took it as a sign...but not of Michael being there...only of life being everywhere...and always in a hurry to go on...forever. And that was enough...at least for that day.
I have never stopped since then...looking for those signs and signals that life is going on...forever...unstoppable, powerful and sometimes, full of surprises...even during our own lowest personal moments.
Denise Ruiz
Editor - Seeker Magazine