Editor's Introduction: Several months ago a person, whose e-mail name is "CoCre8tor@aol.com" decided to pick a quote each day from one of Neale Donald Walsch's three volumes of Conversations with God (CWG) and send it to a group of people. They would respond with thoughts as the spirit moved them. Then CoCre8tor would send us all the responses he received. I've been on the list and so has Ken, whom I met through a local in-person discussion group of CWG. I've set forth a couple of Ken's responses, because I enjoy his perspective of looking at the world and the convolutions that he takes us into. I understand that may be just me, but I trust there are a few others out there who might find his thoughts useful and mind-opening. You will also notice that I did not attempt to edit his writing to conform to usual standards. It was necessary to keep the small i's and big I's in exactly his context, along with 'god' and 'God.'
Ken:
i have found both to be true but just operating on different levels.
after having spent the better part of this life becoming who i am not, i have found myself over the past few years discovering my true nature, or at least what i think is my true nature.
what i discovered is I am a spirit that created a body and all the stuff inside the body that seems incredibly complex (i doubt we know the tenth of it) in order to have a human experience. i 'm not sure if the plan is very detailed and was decided upon before the creation of the body or if I am making it up as I go. if i were to decide which is true, it doesn't matter - it would only add to a personal belief system that i am shedding in order to be more 'I' than 'i'.
the 'I' that is having the human experience is creating it all. the 'i' that is 'who i am not' is discovering that i am really I. this is the utter complexity of the human experience for me. the 'who i am not' is self-contained and separate but is slowly (often times reluctantly and with absolute amazement and varying degrees of fear) discovering that the 'i' is really a creation of the 'I' which created a body and all its complexities out of pure energy. all that i am is nothing more than matter produced from thought (divine intelligence) as part of a game played by ME. i am no different than the stone in my shoe, a little more complex maybe (and maybe not) but the same.
the part that takes my breath away sometimes is when i realize (this is my take on the whole creation thing today) that a bunch of I's created a whole bunch of i's who laid out a few rules. that resulted in the I's (or is it the i's?) fooling themselves into believing they are the opposite of 'who they are,' therefore creating a 'who they are not' which seems very real but is only an illusion and in many cases doomed for failure, after which the i's can discover that they are really I's, who have created all this for whatever reason: maybe to grow, learn, or just to play. what's more amazing to me is this might not be the way it is at all. this could really run a guy crazy.
i think this is why most i's have belief systems to hold on to. there seems to be security in a belief system. for then, one doesn't have to spend a whole bunch of time thinking about, figuring out, constantly changing because of, and experiencing the incredible complexities of the human condition. i have found, for myself, that it is a bit unsettling at times to be letting go of my past belief systems, the story of my life. i guess i'm probably fooling myself by thinking that the new thoughts are really how it is, instead of just another belief system. i think i'm mostly working toward not caring how it works and just living the thing. it's hard to stop doing because it's so much fun. if none of this is true, it doesn't matter, because this is part of the game I came here to play with me.
"You are evolving, you are becoming. And you are using your relationship with everything to decide what you are becoming. This is the job you came here to do. This is the joy of creating self. Of knowing self. Of becoming, consciously, what you wish to be." CWG Book One pg 126"Come to Me along the path of your heart, not through a journey of your mind. You will never find Me in your mind." CWG Book One, pg 94
Ken:
there was a bit in book one where 'god' describes its relationship to its offspring. it stated that IT didn't really care what each spark of itself went off to do. that each one of us had a safe place to play was important (i think 'safe' from the divine's point of view may be a bit different than our definition of safe). god, though, had no intention of being involved in each minute detail of every experience of ITS 'children' aside from sharing the experience. it isn't what we do, but THAT we do. when We do, so does It. this feels pretty right to me.
i sometimes find it very difficult to come to personal understandings because there are so many 'truths' out there about all this. so many different teachings about what is and what isn't. so many suggesting that these truths are universal rather than a personal belief system. what i write here is just what seems to flow nicely right now for me.
what i wonder about tonight is, are we listening for that soft voice of god (THE GOD) or are we really listening for the voice of ourselves (the 'i' listening for the 'I')? if the divine is not waiting with baited breath to give me that 'right' answer, then whose soft voice is that? i think it's Mine. I may be god encompassing all that god is, but I am unique unto Myself. i think I was created with a unique energy and all the possibilities and probabilities. I then created me to do a bunch of those things. God grows, prospers, and does whatever it intended to do based on a constant flow of experiences from the ALL that it created.
having given all the possibilities and probabilities and the gift of creation and choice, why would the divine be muckin' around in there telling Me which ones to do and not to do? i think It cares about the experience from any and all of All of the possibilities and probabilities. this is where freedom of choice comes into play. i think that freedom of choice exists on the I level and is an illusion on the i level.
one of the possibilities, then, is for Me to create matter from divine energy. if it wasn't, then i don't suspect I could do it. because I can, it must be one of the experiences of god, one of the possibilities. the matter created is this very complex what we call a human being. at least, it seems complex. i think it is possible, then, that I am using the human experience to bring forth many, many of these possibilities and probabilities. but if this is My creation, why would I only be able to communicate with it? why would My soft voice only be heard through the heart or soul? if it's true that only 5 to 10 percent of the brain is used, then what's going on in the other 90 percent? why couldn't I be using it as a portal to pass along that soft voice or to somehow use it to play around with all the probabilities?
the mind seems to be a wonderful thing to conceptualize with, to create pictures with, to push energy around with, and ultimately to create 'who we are not' and discover 'who we are' with. i'm interested in why so many do not consider the workings of the mind an 'experience.' why is what the mind does outside the scope of experience? if I created a mind that can do so many cool things, why would that not be experiential and therefore a partner with the heart or soul in My and god's work? it is said that the workings of the heart or soul is 'experience' but the workings of the mind are not. it is said the journey or path to god is through the heart and not the mind.
if I created the body, which obviously includes the mind, from divine energy which is All That Is, and I embody all the possibilities and probabilities of god, which is to say 'i am god,' then is not all of it God? if that's the case, then is it not all experiential - there is nothing outside of experience, nothing outside of god?
the conceptual understanding my mind has of the beauty and necessity of tears, the power of fear, the wonders of love, the incredible magic of one body touching another, the fascination and complexity of the human experience, is no more or less an experience than the tears, the fear, the love, the incredible magic of that touch, and the wonderment of what it is to be fully human. for me, thought is energy, and the mind thinks, and therefore conceptualization is experiential.
i think it is simply a part of the journey of discovering that i am not just an little i. if it is all god, then the search for, or journey or path to, god is an illusion. what sense does it make to search for or journey toward what we already are, unless we have fooled ourselves into the belief that we are something other than that? this is the game so clearly stated in book 1 [of CWG].
create 'who you are not' so you can discover or create or become 'who you are.' the only way to get to 'who you are' in the physical relative plane is to create 'who you are not.' that blows me away, but when i look out there, that's all i can see.
it's like the dog chasing its tail and believing the tail is separate from itself. it's trying to catch something that is itself. are we on a journey to find or be something that We already are but we just don't know it? this may be the grand paradox. it constantly threatens to make me nuts.
once i realized the tail was mine, then i kept chasing it because it's fun. i don't conceptualize much anymore because i am searching for what i already am but because it feels so good. creating pictures with my mind, moving energy with thought is a wonderful and exhilarating experience. using my vocal cords, tongue, lips, and mind to communicate all this with another human is about as much fun as i can have on this planet. if that someone doesn't see the facts as i do because of the limitations of words, i don't care. it is the experience of the relationship and sharing energy that is the magic, not that someone understands what i'm trying to say. it is part of ALL THAT IS and therefore experiential. it is no longer an illusionary journey to god but an incredible experience that the divine is sharing. it is simply loads of fun!
so what i think is, that there is no journey or path to god, or if there is a path, it is not to god but is god. it's only a game of hide and seek. i'm hiding within the 'who i am not' and thinking i'm seeking 'who i am' or god when i'm already that. i just don't know it. there is no doubt for me, though, that the mind and all its magic is as much a part of the EXPERIENCE of 'all that is' as the heart, soul and all the rest.
with that said, i don't buy all the teachings in the three CWG books. there is some that knocks me off my chair and some that is clearly Neale's mind playing games. it doesn't matter. i'm glad for all of it. i am also thankful that you are sharing it with me.
Table of Contents
Letter to the Author:
Ken Atwood at imasiasl@aol.com