It isn't your job to be surprised when they resent you for cutting off their goodies, as they're still emotionally starving and have to feed themselves.
You're not their mother. And it can't be your job to be surprised when they make it your problem, and say, what is it about you, Sam, that you have so many unspoken expectations whenever you feed starving women?
If nothing else, women are proud, and don't cotton to easily admit that they've been taken advantage of, and have themselves been the emotional troughs for all the Bruce's, the Fred's, the André's, the You-name-it's. The George's!
No self-respecting woman finds it easy to admit she's allowed herself to be the anchors and udders for a continuous pattern of hairy mindless brats.
She keeps attracting the brats and they keep rewarding her with indifferent gluttony. So why are you surprised, as a good man, that you are not nourished?
Look at her record!
Why is it that any of us continue to feed needy people, yet they toss away richly personal gifts and their power to others who will continue to abuse them?
You can't expect reason from a woman who views you as being way too nice and way too giving. She'll say, it was your choice to feed me. I didn't officially ask you. You're my friend. That's who you are. Hang on, Phuckwad is on the phone, the guy who really abuses me, and he's starving and I've got to lop off my arm for him again.
Meanwhile, as my genuine friend, you bitch about my three stingy cookies, you bastard.
How could you? Don't you see how I'm so close to abject poverty, having given my right arm to Phuckwad?
You want to reply to the pretty lass, "But my dear. You continually cut off your arm for Phuckwad, then tell others like me to not expect you to be a fully capable pitcher when we're having a round of friendly platonic softball. Meanwhile, the most tender and soulful parts of you are starving."
A starving woman can never be expected to see that she is outright stingy about tiny cookies she gives to a good guy, when to the bastard she's at last given the boot, she'd been giving her body; her booty; her money; her life; and more than half of her schedule.
It's natural that she's frugal. She has no sense of appropriate value.
Your giving healing to her is certainly not going to be rewarded . . . her allowance system is awarding the wrong gentleman. As lovely as she appears, this woman has skewed values.
She's given years of her life to a charming but scamming creep, and now you don't like the held-back cookies she's doling out to you? Her cookie jar's empty! She gave it to the cookie monster.
But you weren't sleeping with her, and the monster who was, he got everything.
He never loved her - - but he sure liked the cookies and milk.
Mommy, can I have more?
Meanwhile, you seem a bit crass to be counting your crackers, as it were. We're all feeling some decided lack on what we've been given, and how barren are our cupboards. It's sad that everyone desires the emotional and spiritual cupboards to be full, to be well-stocked with riches and generous provisions.
Even during the hardest of times!
Who went emotional shopping; who stocked your larders?
So don't begin to think that her three lousy cookies aren't poetic payback for the shiploads of sympathy you fed to her ravenously dehydrated soul. It's all she feels she can give to the nice man.
Meanwhile, there's the growling of the hounds at her door, and as is her wont, she will go pick up the knife and slice off a bit of her arm for the man who continues to abuse her.
It's as if she's sleepwalking, a woman who can never be fed, sleep walking with a knife.
As she awakens, she's irritable. You feel like you've given your all to feed her, and, the little you've gotten back - - well, now it's her turn to grouse about being ungrateful.
And you know, she has a point.
What are you doing cooking dinner for women with questionable judgment?
Go clean your own kitchen. It's a mess.
Letter to the Author at SoulGnosis@aol.com
(Copyright 2004 by Darius Gottlieb. No reproduction without express permission from the author)
You're invited to visit Darius' website for more of his photographs and
his music at Art Bliss
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