Letters to the Editor

Great job!

That interview with Rose was pretty darn powerful stuff. I think you were right in feeling that it fit, even if there was some risk of it being depressing. In truth, it wasn't depressing at all--other than a reminder of our own mortality--but was inspiring and life-affirming.

I read your letter after reading her interview, and that made it all the more sad. (And BTW, I truly think that sadness is OK...)

A good friend of mine recently lost her husband to Hodgkin's disease. He knew he had it and with a resolve surprisingly similar to Rose's, he lived his life, not extravagantly, but not passing up vacations, either. And it turned out that he lived 10 years longer than anyone had predicted. It caught up to him in the end, but his wife had a whole day alone with him after the doctor wrote him off and before he lapsed into a coma. And that day made all the difference; his wife grieved, but wasn't devastated. She still misses him, but they had a unique and precious day to talk over all their dreams, their shared lives, and to slowly say goodbye to each other.

His mother, on the other hand, was stuck in the airport and arrived at the bedside only minutes before he lapsed into a coma. She still greives tremendously, unconsolably. Her life has stuck around the hub of her dead son, and her anger towards her daughter-in-law is pointed and unquenchable.

I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend last week. I asked him how he was doing and he was frank with me: his wife had just miscarried, his work sucked, and his mother had just died. He felt best about his mother. He had gone down and seen her right before she died and they talked about her life and how fortunate he was to have known her.

When he told me this story, I started crying, and realized that I was terrified of my parents dying--much more so that I fear my own death. Why? It doesn't make sense. His response was that it was a "rich" life experience that hits him right at the center of his being; it's a final part of life; and he had fully accepted and loved his mother (after having been estranged for quite some time).

I keep thinking: God, I'm getting older. I feel like I'm living in a John Updike novel or something. Friends are marrying; others are divorcing or separating; some friends are dying; others suffering. There's tons of sadness spread just in the circle of people I know. Yet everyone pretty much deals with it. And interspersed in between all the sadness, is a sweetening of love or joy that seems to be just lying in clumps to be stumbled into.

Like today, for instance. I went out early in the am to collect blackberries so I could make french toast with fresh berry syrup for my wife (who has been under a lot of pressure lately) and not far from our house was a bush just loaded down. They seemed to fall into my hands like a gentle gift, and their giving was unconditional. These precious little berries were so sweet and succulent that I made sure I was thankful for each one who joined the others in my bowl. They were all the more precious because they were free. Gathering these berries put me in such a spectacular mood that I waved to everyone I saw and sang out loud as I walked and gathered berries.

Rose is right: Life's in the small details.

And my thanks to you for putting together a magazine filled with so many.

Take care,
Homer

Homer              *------------------------------------*
                   |  Have you read my two new books?   |
                   |  "The Idiot" & "The Oddity"        |
                   *------------------------------:-)---*

Greetings Seekers,

Surfed in through "talk,new age religion". Ever hear of "THE WAY"? It is a Native American understanding which may be older than anyone suspects. It is very real, very powerful. As an awareness it can transform human life on planet Earth with an infinite structure of unconditional love.

Enjoy,
Christopher Brown

Thank you for the article. It is refreshing to find a forum that expresses a fairly strong statement without concern for the usual backlash. May I add to it?

1) The advancement of medicine, increase in longevity etc. is indeed increasing the survival effectivness of the race. But are we stronger? One may say that the increase in survival of 'weaker' individuals 'lowers' the standard of the species. One way of controlling our numbers would be to somehow 'raise' the standard. Unfortunately the only easy (and often demonstrated) way to achieve this is through the elimination of weaker individuals, or through genetic alteration. In both cases, we find ourselves with an ethical problem.

2) The increase in pandemics such as HIV (among others over the centuries) have effectively cut back population size. This follows simple statistical principles of probability, and the fact that a linear increase in population increases the number of possible person-to-person interactions EXPONENTIALLY. It only becomes a matter of time before a 'saturation point' is reached and a disease spreads quickly.

It may seem harsh, but such natural, statistical mechanisms may end up proving to be the most effective form of population control.

Regards
Michael Vanderlaan