As I've wandered through the day-in-day-out routine of the recent month I have noticed a certain thing hanging about. It isn't anything too special. It's one of the things that you kinda know but don't really remember for the most part. At least that's the way I feel about it.
It is companionship. We are social animals. At least, I am. I get so down sometimes when I have been lonely too long. I tend to believe that we all do. There is a belief that runs something like this: There is only one thing that all people possess equally...Loneliness. The only way to overcome Loneliness is through Experience. To Touch and to Feel is to Experience. It is a Native American belief.
I cannot express the truth I feel this speaks of. Loneliness. That is the one thing that everyone feels in the same amount. When one is alone, one can get to know the utter depths of loneliness. It can be so painful, and in some ways purifying. But it can also be the worst hell one could ever, ever imagine.
The only way to go beyond this Loneliness is through the experiencing of things, not just people. Even just sitting with a lovely sunset or singing with the Ravens, one can come to overcome the Loneliness. But this is not just one war that settles the fate of a culture. Rather just the opposite, it is a constant battlefield, filled with the tides of war. They shift just as easily and quickly as the tides of the mighty sea are pulled by the gentle sway of the moon. These tides are affected by the smallest things. An inconsiderate gaze in response to one's greeting...a `friend' unknowingly negating your thoughts...The finances just not working out. All these and many more alienate us. Make us one from the many.
The experiencing of things and others is truly the way beyond this Loneliness. A kind touch, a moment shared...really shared, not just being in the same room. There are times when two or more people come together and create something, something that they both acknowledge and know. It is a sharing between them and it creates ties. It creates feeling. It creates the soft touches of minds and hearts that make us weep with joy and hold our hearts out, open to the sun.
These things overcome the loneliness, but they do not happen often. I was reminded of it the other night when I was sitting with some new friends and having a wonderful conversation. Speaking honestly is one way of Experiencing others and it can have great benefits. I was reminded often of the conversations I would have with my Brothers in the days of old. They were conversations to broaden the mind and open the eyes and hearts of those near. Words of power flowed in the circle and the space was made sacred around us. If ever there is magic in the world it can be felt at those times. I cannot explain the happiness I felt that night, but I am sure that anyone who has felt it knows exactly what I mean. There are some feelings that words lack the power to express.
To find Brothers and Sisters in this world is the greatest of all feelings.
Some people think that family is only blood. I believe that there is another form of family that is often overlooked. It is when one finds a bond with another person. It is not creating one. It is simply finding the one that was already there. We are all connected. I am reminded of a thing I read when I was studying the power of the Wolf. `In a pack, every relationship in that pack concerns every member of that pack.' As we come to see that we are one big community on this great world we must strive to remember this. Every relationship concerns every one. As soon as one person forgets their Brothers and Sisters they begin to forget themselves. This is Loneliness.
I am often struck by my memories of my Brothers back in the old homeland. I rarely see them and that often makes me sad, for I miss them so. I have realized that in some ways, I live in the past. I remember my Brothers and think about the great times we had and I wish that they had not ended. The times did not end. To go out on a limb here, I hesitantly put forth that time does not end. If you disagree, fine. Whether that is true or not is not something I care about at this time. But the point is that the times do not end, they are still there. It is I who had lost my connection to them. I just couldn't get there from here, as the saying goes. But I am realizing more and more that it is not that time which was so magical and special more than this time. It was where I was and who I was with and how open I could be. That is what created the space and the magic. That is what always creates it. Perhaps creates is not the best word, but it does sound nice. In reality, it is more of that is what paves the way for the magic to come in. The magic is always there, it depends on us.
And I suppose what it always comes down to is, it depends on me
(Copyright 10/1/97 by David Langer - No reproduction without express permission from the author)