There are so many things, so many thoughts. It seems impossible to be able to know them all. But it doesn't mean that I can't look. And I do, believe me, sometimes too much. I can get completely involved in looking and it occupies me so that I don't have time to work on anything else. The flip side of this is that when I am working on too many things in the 'outside' world I don't have enough time to look inside or even just look around. It aggravates me... I'll leave it at that...
And why am I writing about it now? Well, to see if I can find an answer. The mind is who we are, and if some part of it isn't working right we must look within to fix it. And we are the only ones who can. No one else can see inside your mind, no one. People can sometimes observe the surface thoughts that are reflected on the physicality of the body, but the deep thoughts that are secreted away inside your being, these are solely for yourself. As a matter of fact, they can be damned hard to share with others. Those who have tried know.
Anyway, that being said I want to look at something I've been studying in terms of religions recently. First of all, let me say I am a tried and true agnostic. I know there is something out there, but I will not claim that I know what it is. I doubt it could even be communicated as a concept of language. So, that is where I am coming from. And if any believers of any faith do happen to read this just remember it is my journal, so smile and know that I'm a self-proclaimed fool and we can all be happy.
And that is not up for debate.
So, this thing that is neat is called paradox. Something which in its own nature is self-contradictory. I love these things. Whenever I start thinking about them I can't help but smiling. Paradoxes are so cool! To think that something can be in everything but at the same time be non-existant is fabulous.
I don't know what it means but I've got my theories as does anyone who spends any time thinking about paradoxes. And those people who don't think about them, well, they've just got less headaches and rightly so. Sometimes I envy them.
But like I said, I don't know what it means, but I think that the nature of the paradox is at the core of reality and nature. In my humble opinion when mankind comes to understand paradoxes and accept their meaning, it shall attain a new level. I won't say that this is the 'destiny' of mankind, far from. I think that if mankind is to learn to survive through its current state this will be the kind of knowledge it needs to attain.
I came to look at these paradoxes while studying texts of Taoism and Hinduism. They are rife with paradoxes. 'Act without acting.' the Tao Te Ching says. 'Smaller than a grain of rice is the Self... Yet again is that Self... greater than the earth, greater than the heavens, greater than all the worlds.' is a description from the Upanishads. Fascinating things. Looked at from one point of view they seem totally foolish. However, if one can tweak the mind into a different way of perceiving the words, there is something behind the words and their meaning.
Now, let me just put forth my own take on religions. I think at their center, at the core of their beliefs all religions originate back to similar fundamental ideas. One way I like to express it is, 'Be excellent to each other.' I also think that the differences and oppositions that have come up over the centuries/millennia have originated from poor specimens of the race adding their own twisted interpretations on sayings and conceptions. Naturally, with my perspective I tend to take what I consider to be the beneficial points and discard what I consider to be the malignant points. And how can I judge something like that? Most of the time, fairly easily. Do I have the credentials that signify that I can make good judgments in this regard. Hell, no. But then if most people were able to it probably wouldn't be such an issue whether I could or not, right? Hmm... maybe... So here I am looking at these paradoxes and I'm saying to myself, 'Man, this is some good stuff. This is something worth thinking about.' So I'm going to take em, and I'm going to think them over and I'm going to try to fit them into my understanding of the 'big picture', tiny though it is. And maybe someday I shall learn to move in accord with the universe and follow its guidance and not try to force my will upon its being. Or to 'act without acting' as the Tao Te Ching might put it.
(Copyright 11/1/97 by David Langer - No reproduction without express permission from the author)