Boys will be boys is a phrase often used by parents to excuse a multitude of transgressions, from mud on a new pair of Reeboks to wrapping that expensive ten-speed Schwinn around the trunk of a tree. Most of the time, these youthful offenses cause no real harm; with the exception of a bump or scrape, have no long-lasting effects; and, after all...boys will be boys!
The boundary which separates simple high spirits from unacceptable behavior is an individual one. What one parent would regard as little more than blowing off steam, another might consider both dangerous and totally inappropriate. It's a question of personal ethics. Nevertheless, an action which inflicts unwarranted and irreparable damage upon another living thing should certainly be cause for anxiety and concern about the child's state of mind.
When a child is demolishing an ant hill or destroying a web carefully spun by a spider, most of us just go on about our business. Perhaps the inherent distaste that many of us have for the world of insects makes us heartless to their fate; however, if we were to see that same child corner a puppy or kitten and poke at it with a stick, or catch a fledgling sparrow and attempt to defeather its wings, would we still turn a blind eye? Perhaps. Society as a whole does seem to have developed an aversion to "getting involved," but we would, at the very least, surely wonder what could possibly be making that child indulge in such cruel behavior and hope that the child's parents were taking steps to rectify the situation before it developed into something more vicious.
A colleague of mine at work (I'll call her "Laura") recently spent several months searching for a Miniature Dachshund. She was specific about her requirements. It had to be red, smooth-haired and female. Surprisingly, in this part of the country anyway, these little dogs are in great demand. Eventually, Laura managed to find one that had not been pre-sold at the moment of conception and happily handed over $250.00 for the pup. At barely six weeks old, the new family pet weighed less than a pound, balanced quite nicely in the palm of an adult hand, had huge mahogany-colored eyes and an enthusiastic tongue. They named her "Pebbles."
Laura and her husband have three children. Two teenage girls and a five-year old boy. Dogs have always played a large part in all their lives and the new pup was a welcome addition to the family. Pebbles and Laura's five-year old (I'll call him "Danny") quickly became inseparable and from the Tuesday night she was brought home, Pebbles slept in Danny's room.
Laura and her family live in a nice subdivision. It's small and very much like the old neighborhoods that were once a major part of the American landscape, where everybody knows everybody else. In Laura's backyard is a large swimming pool. Consequently, her home is well-visited by the children in the area. One of the children who liked to come swim in Laura's pool was one of Danny's friends. A six-year old boy who lives in the house next door (I'll call him "Michael").
The Saturday following Pebbles' arrival, Michael and Danny were playing in Danny's room. Michael expressed the desire to go for a swim but Danny told him he couldn't because "Daddy was fixing the pool" (adding chemicals and removing algae). Michael was disappointed and began to create a ruckus. Hardly acceptable behavior, especially in somebody else's home but, then again, six-year-olds don't always follow the rules of etiquette. Hearing the boys yelling, Laura started up the stairs and passed Michael running down. Upon entering Danny's room, Laura discovered that Danny was in his bathroom and Pebbles was apparently asleep by the baseboard. After making sure that her son was alright, Laura picked up the dog, carried her downstairs, laid her in an armchair and covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't get cold.
A few hours later, Laura was preparing dinner and heard strange noises coming from the living room. At first, she thought the sounds were coming from the television, but then her husband pointed to the armchair. "It's Pebbles," he said with a smile. "She's having one of those dreams that dogs do...probably chasing a cat or burying a bone or something." Laura, however, didn't like the way the pup was acting and decided to wake her up.
Removing the blanket, she saw that the little dog was bleeding and having convulsions. Realizing something was badly wrong, Laura rewrapped Pebbles in the blanket while her husband desperately tried to locate an after-hours animal hospital. After a frantic twenty minute drive, they arrived at the clinic. The vet on duty immediately diagnosed the pup as having suffered a trauma to the head combined with internal injuries. She asked Laura and her husband what had happened, but they were baffled. Laura suggested that Pebbles might have fallen from Danny's bed, but the vet was skeptical that something that simple could have caused such a severe reaction.
They left Pebbles at the hospital. Heavily sedated, she seemed to be resting reasonably comfortably and the vet said she would run some tests to try and pinpoint the problem. Back home, Laura questioned Danny about what he knew. Danny became tearful and asked if Pebbles was going to die. He then stated that if she did, it would be Michael's fault. Sobbing, Danny revealed the story. Angry because he could not go swimming, Michael had picked up Pebbles from Danny's bed and thrown her against the wall. With the typicality of a five-year old, Danny had assumed the dog was okay, especially when she was gone when he had come out of the bathroom.
Laura's husband immediately called Michael's parents. Only his mother was home. She came over with Michael. Laura's husband attempted to be kind. He's a teacher and used to dealing with children. When questioned about the incident, Michael became fidgety and stated that he hadn't meant to do it. When prompted further, Michael admitted that he had "gotten mad" when told he couldn't go swimming and had hurled the puppy at the wall. He picked up a shoe and demonstrated what he had done.
Michael's mother couldn't believe it...or didn't want to. Would any of us want to believe that of our child? Michael seemed indifferent to the fate of the dog and merely asked if he were in trouble and if it meant he now wouldn't get any presents for his birthday the following Monday. Michael's mother asked him if he was sorry. "Oh yes," said Michael. "I didn't mean to do it, but I was mad!" Michael's mother appeared to think that, since the boy was sorry, then his actions were excusable. She told Laura and her husband that they were as much to blame as anyone for leaving two small boys alone with such a young puppy. "After all," she told them as she left, "boys will be boys, you know."
I won't go into all the sad details. Suffice to say that Pebbles died of her injuries the following afternoon. When Laura's husband delivered the news to Michael's parents, he was greeted with a stony stare. There was no offer to help pay for Pebbles' hospital bills or any mention of some type of reimbursement for the cost of the dog. Michael's father stated that, since the boys had been unsupervised, his son could hardly be blamed for what had happened and the fact that Michael was "very sorry" should be sufficient.
It is truly amazing how quickly a pet can become an important part of our lives. Laura and her family had Pebbles for less than week but the pain of losing her, particularly in such a senseless fashion, will last a long time. Happily, they have since found a replacement...well, not a "replacement," but at least another red, smooth-coated Miniature Dachshund pup. In fact, they now have two. A little male named "Chip" and a little female named "Ginger." All in all, considering the cost incurred in purchasing the dogs and Pebbles' hospital bills, they have spent somewhere in the region of $1,500.00. Not a penny of which they ever saw (or are likely to see) from Michael's parents. Laura said she wouldn't mind that if she thought the money were going to get Michael some badly-needed help, but she knows differently.
Five-year-olds are resilient creatures, often with short memories, and Danny has forgiven or possibly, in a way, forgotten Michael's actions. Laura and her husband don't like to tell Danny he can't play with Michael any more but they do because they are afraid of what might happen and are even more afraid that their fears are warranted.
As far as Laura can tell, Michael has never been punished in any fashion for his behavior. He was out in the neighborhood on the evening of his birthday, riding his brand new bike. Needles to say, Michael is no longer welcome at Laura's house. When asked by the other children why he no longer goes swimming there, he replies, "Because I threw their dumb dog against the wall and the stupid thing died!"
Laura and her husband are concerned about Michael because the boy appears to have no conscience and they wonder who will be the next victim to fall prey to his savage temper. His parents show no concern about Michael's violent behavior, even though he can often be seen in the yard pummeling his little brother or hurling stones at the blue jays who gather at the bird feeder on the other side of the fence.
It is incomprehensible to me that a child would treat an animal in the manner that Michael did Pebbles. I have yet to personally know a child who did not love puppies and kittens...especially those who are small enough to fit in the palm of the hand. Children are usually entranced and are more likely to hurt the animal with a display of love and overly-zealous affection rather than deliberate physical harm. One can only wonder, if left unchecked, how the personality and principles of a child like Michael will develop for it mirrors the type of early behavior displayed by some of the most sadistic and brutal criminals in history. If, as has been suggested, such actions are a cry for help, then Michael's pleas are going unanswered and it will be the innocent who may be made to suffer the consequences of his parents' ignorance.