AVANT SOUL

(FILL MY HEAD WITH BALLOTS)

Sometimes sadness sneaks into my chambers
  =in the middle of the night=
To steal a passionate kiss

Then sneaks unexpectedly away
Leaving me holding a remembrance
  of bliss
  and fleeting embrace


Suddenly I'm awash
  with memories of sadness' skin /
  (and) lips of sadness' ....Smooth tight composure
Lingering pale white fire, expanding in the belly —
      I'm aflame with a pale white wash,
Leaving ghostly tracks
    and bruising memories,
      as I'm left alone
With the weight of hanging humankind


If only sadness would not merge
  with the glowing orb within my soul
That place waiting ever to fulfilled
  with sadness' probing inquiries and longings.
It seems sadness travels 'round the globe.


=This sadness has =no name=
Has = no desire= to leave a contact
A calling card =a reason=
An answer =an explanation= even an identity
Comes unexpectedly
=and parts knifelike hours=
Looking for a home
=Where no one can ever reside=


I'm drained and remember still
  the urgency of sadness
Marking me with stigmata,
  so coarse
  yet so divinely alien —


—Are we all marked by sadness' kindness,
The sublime impersonal entrances by strangers
Filling our ears and thoughts
Broadcast by ten-thousand brutish anchors
Weighing upon the airwaves?

Quick, another channel
Another trick
Another one-night stand with
The promiscuity of information,
It's blown in the wind, and the answers
Are only as easy as the next telecast whore
Squatting in our living room with our permissions
And all our channels blazing . . .


Sweet sadness! I wish I knew your name

So I could write a thank-you to your mother
For raising such a broadwidth fool, such a well-endowed boy,
Leaving me with memories I can almost taste within
I'm going to get a DSL to speed the delivery
To all the sites and temporary hits
Of broadband's a-blazing, please download me NOW

This sadness has no preset limit to sensory overload /
Quickly, drain me! Spend me, use me
Fill my head with nonsense and with ballots
So that I can be filled again with saturated sadness,
Abuse me.


But can't remember your face,
Your face
Your face
Your fleeting face of sadness


Grace, come enter
To me now
And fill these shallow longings with flesh and bone . . .
Surge through me
  =your bloodied hull=
Where breathes a marrow of storm-tossed days
I'm gasping
  ===with the reach===
    of fingers strong, of sadness,

And in this senseless breach and hot, hollow breath
      my numbed and deadened senses
  ===for a moment===
Come alive