Tubes, tubes, tubes...vacuum tubes...you know, the things you used to pull out of your grandparents (and for some of you, your parents..) old televisions and old radios, so you could smash them on the ground? Weren't they cool when they made that big popping noise? Wasn't that really cool? Did you know back then, or even now, why they call them vacuum tubes? Did you even care?
Now, suddenly...like that character in a soap opera you thought was dead...they're back, and bigger than ever. What the hay? Hasn't tube technology gone the way of the dodo? Who the heck uses tubes anymore?
Musicians, that's who. Yes, I know...you always thought musicians were wacko anyway..like that guy who cut off his ear, and sent it to his girlfriend...what was his name? Alice Cooper? Ozzy Ozbourne? What's that? Oh...him..well, you know...all creative people are crazy. Either that, or they know something others don't.
Actually, it's not something they know, necessarily...but something they hear. Tubes sound alive. Don't ask me to explain it. I just know they do. Yeah, and I've never had a 9 to 5 job, either....To me, and many others...silicon just sounds as lifelike as Bob Dole talking to children. Ouch...sorry...bad simile....How about this then? Imagine seeing everything in black and white, instead of color. That would kinda suck. Yes, I know. Television that had tubes in it was black and white, but that's a technical thing, and we won't get into that. Let's just say, for a lot of musicians/engineers/producers/etc...tubes look like full technicolor when compared to the black and white of transistors. You'll hear the term "warm", or "phat" applied to tubes a lot, when someone is trying to explain the difference. Let me tell you, those suckers do get hot!
Of course, not everyone feels this way...There are those who prefer their silicon in an opaque version. They don't like to see all the neat little filaments lighting up, red hot. They don't like how inefficient a tube circuit is. They don't like the fact that you have to replace tubes at least once a year. Tubes aren't exactly cheap, either. $25.00 for one power tube is a bargain. You never have to replace transistors, unless they blow out...and how often does that happen? Not to mention that nasty shock you can get from the high voltage transformers, and extra weight that chunk of iron adds. I'm sure nobody in their right mind would want to get a searing burn from a tube, either. It's the price you have to pay...
So, transistors are cold, and unemotional...but so was my first girlfriend. They're really, really good at crunching numbers, (you know how those musicians hate math..) and take up a lot less space, not to mention weigh next to nothing. Musicians that are computer friendly (which seem to be more and more every day...what else are you going to do all day if you don't have a gig? Practice? Yeesh...) love transistors...love the things you can do with them, the convenience they add, and defiantely love the cost cutting possibilities transistors make. Hey, why pay a guy to chunk away on a keyboard or drums, when a computer can do it just as well, and with feeling too...well, sort of...remember the ex-girlfriend? She was there, filling up space, but didn't always do it for me, you know? (I don't mean sexually...you perverts).
Oh my, those purist musicians are giving me looks. How dare I use a machine, instead of a human being? Well..ask a woman sometime why she prefers a machine to a man...less complications. (There, that was for the perverts...satisfied?) Don't machines and automation put people out of work? Maybe, but some of those people might not be there, anyway. A machine, for one, is a bit more reliable, a bit more predictable, and costs a lot less. When I have to rely on four other people to help me make my salary, it can get rough. Better four and a machine, rather than five...you non-musicians do the computations of how many more things can go wrong with five people, rather than four, you musicians don't have to...you already know the secret karma thing of too many cooks and the broth.
Of course, I'm doing something I enjoy, yes it's paying for my car, yes, I'm making alot more than if I was selling tools at Sears. Why should I complain about one more person? Call me spoiled, I suppose...but it's a cutthroat biz out there. All the wolves are trying for a piece of the hunt, and I'm going to use any tool I have at my disposal...until, that is..until I don't have to compete anymore...then I'll work on things like my moral obligations to my fellow humans. I'd rather be in a position to help others, rather than still struggling at the bottom of the rat heap, doing nobody any good. What can I say? Call me spoiled, call me anything you want...just call me. :)
Pax perem musicum.
Ok y'all...this is your chance, tell it like it is...you have a band you're just dying to tell everyone about? (if it's your own, that's ok too). You just heard an album by someone new, or someone dead that's driving you bonkers every hour that you play it? Tell us!! We want to know!! This is a place to share good stuff that you think others might just enjoy. No negative reviews, please...we don't do that here. You think someone sucks? Tell them to their face, and see how well everyone takes constructive criticism...Oh..by the way...tell us when and where a band/solo artist/ensemble is performing, or where we can find the album/single/soundbyte, some of us just might want to check it out. Also, if anyone has music they want to share via the Net, send it here...we'll give it a listen...but we make no promises..
I want to send in my ideas to the Music Clinic!
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